Wounded Healers

Alice Miller writes that when you are struggling with pain from the past you might need coaching from someone who understands from experience what you are going through. She calls such a person an “enlightened witness.” I call them “wounded healers.

If you need  a wounded healer, here is what you should look for:

– A person who has a  wound of his or her own that has healed to one degree or another.

– A plan for healing that works.

– The ability to listen.

– Positive feedback whether you want it or not.

– The courage to confront you when necessary.

– Sympathy with boundaries.

– Every now and then the ability to read your mind because she is that intuitive.

– Someone who will never give up on you.

– Someone who is encouraging and hopeful.

– Someone who mirrors back to you your inner beauty.

– A non-judgmental person.

– Someone who encourages you to forgive yourself and others who have hurt you.

– A person who knows when to talk and when to listen.

– Someone who will share his or her own story.

– A wise person who will witness your pain so you can see through him or her what you have been through. This person will be like a mirror.

I found this in 1982 and now I am a wounded healer. When you are ready and willing to deal with the pain you have been suffering all of your life,  you will find your own wounded healer. As the proverb says: “When you are on the right path, the teacher will appear.”


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Susan Peabody


Susan Peabody is a writer and counselor who likes to help people. She is also a spiritual advisor and life…

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