3 Steps To Create A Positive Internal Dialogue…

3 Steps To Create A Positive Internal Dialogue

Change Your Internal Dialogue

We all do it.

You look in the mirror and criticize your appearance, you lose to a coworker on the promotion and call yourself stupid, you forget to send your grandma a birthday card and call yourself careless.

Negative self-talk plagues us all, but that’s exactly what it is—a plague.

We are all are own worst critics, but sometimes we are overly critical of ourselves, to the point that it’s debilitating.

Learning how to turn negative self-talk into something positive can help us do better and feel better.



SEE ALSO: How To Be Compassionate In An Unforgiving World


1. Congratulate yourself for taking a risk.

One of my favorite quotes is, “Mistakes are proof that you are trying.”

And it’s true, “failing” at something isn’t necessarily a negative and doesn’t need to be met with such harsh internal criticism.

The fact that you tried means you are living and the fact that you are being hard on yourself means you are trying to be a better you and that, to me, means you’re a success!

So even if you don’t meet some expectation or criteria you have, congratulate yourself for attempting to do or be something more. Many don’t even get that far.


2.  Listen. Question. Repeat.

Sit quietly for ten minutes each day and listen to the criticism you feed yourself. Is it accurate or is it much too severe? Usually, our negative self-talk is irrationally critical. It goes overboard.

Are you really “obese?” No. Just a little overweight.

You’re not “stupid,” just “ill-informed.” The language you use around your flaws, or “personal construction zones,” can help you put them into better perspective.

That, in turn, can help you feel more ability to work on them.


3.  Don’t ignore it, do something about it.

After you check your language around a certain problem, decide what the real problem is? Do you feel inferior because you don’t follow current events as well as your husband?

Because you are more comfortable jumping from relationship to relationship than being alone? Because you can’t blow glass but you’ve always wanted to?

Well then, put in the work.

Negative self-talk is most often a flare from the inside, a reminder that there’s something that needs to be worked on. Maybe you need to be disciplined about reading the newspaper more?  Seek relationship counseling? Sign up for art classes?

Once you find ways to change what makes you unhappy about yourself, stick to them, and see your internal dialogue change to positive.


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Alexa Peters

Alexa Peters is a freelance writer in Pacific Northwest. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from the Creative Writing program at…

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