What Will Be The Ratio Of Sorrow And Joy For Living A Balanced Life?
Tell me, what do you like – sorrow or joy?
Your answer obviously should be JY!
The feeling of joy is so overwhelming and exhilarating that everyone loves going after it; and why only feeling, one greatly loves even the person or thing who we believe is giving us that joy. We generally get along well with people who bring us joy, and in a natural course we develop attachment for them. And for those due to whom we believe to have experienced sorrow, we develop lot of negativity as well. We try to run away from them. This by no means is a balanced life.
The ratio of sorrow and joy is irrelevant; it has nothing to do with a balanced life.
For living a balanced life, absence of ‘attachment towards the feeling of joy and hatred towards the feeling of sorrow’ is what is essential.
Therefore Param Pujya DadaBhagwan, an enlightened being advises, “Come to the normality (the balance) with equanimity.”
For living a balanced life, it is imperative that we solve joy and sorrow, no matter in what ratio they exist in our life, with equanimity! It implies no attachment with joy and no hatred for sorrow!
So, today let us understand some of the ways proposed by Gnani, the Enlightened One, in order to bring about a solution to our joy and sorrow, of our attachments and hatreds, through equanimity so that we can start living a balanced life…
1. Harnessing the right set of intentions. If we really want to live a balanced life, our deep inner intents need to be revised. Our intentions should be in favour of “I don’t want to get emotional. Adjust. Avoid clashes. I do not want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to create any divide. Maintain equanimity.”
In the initial step, one makes an effort to maintain the balance this way. And if we have had any similar intentions in the past life, they will help us today as it happens easily, naturally and spontaneously, without having to put much of current active effort for it.
2. Not getting emotional. Different types of circumstances are bound to come our way. But circumstances that we like make us joyful and those we dislike make us feel sorrowful. We become emotional in our attempts to retain joy and push away sorrow from our life. In contrast, a balanced person’s inner stillness remains unaffected under any circumstance. When there is no distaste for that which is disliked, and there is no affection for that which is liked, the balance is able to manifest.
3. Know how beneficial adverse circumstances are. If circumstances that we dislike did not arise, our energies would never blossom. So, adverse circumstances are actually good for our spiritual welfare. Therefore, we ought to be grateful to the person or thing whom we hold responsible for our sorrow that, “I am highly obliged to you for you have helped me develop spiritual energy!”
4. Adjusting Everywhere. When something adverse is said to us, we lose our balance. “But what if we immediately extract its essence and let go the rest?” says Pujya Deepakbhai, as he shares with us his art of adjusting with the world.
When we are prepared to adjust in every circumstance, we are naturally happy and peaceful all the time. And at times when negativity arises towards someone, Pujya Deepakbhai suggests, “Do pratikraman for the negativity that arose for the person.’ Pratikraman means seeking forgiveness for our mistake by praying to the God of our faith, “Oh God! I sincerely apologize for my mistake. Please forgive me and grant me strength so that I do not repeat this mistake in future again.”
5. No divide with anyone. In circumstances where we experience sorrow, we must quickly learn to mix well with everyone! It is due to abhorrence that separation arises. But if we resolve to mix with everyone, separation comes to an end and abhorrence dissolves.
6. Endure that which is disliked with a clear mind – Param Pujya Dadashri. If we willingly resolve to neither accuse someone for doing something we didn’t like nor even see him at fault, and whole-heartedly ensure that there is not the slightest distaste, complain or abhorrence for the one we do not like, we have endured that which is disliked with a clear mind. And that’s when we are said to be actually live a balanced life in its proper meaning.
7. Understanding the law of karma. Joy or sorrow are actually a result of our past karma. If we understand the law of karma, we know that when the other person does anything that makes us sorrowful:
a. it is simply a payback for a mistake that we’ve made in our past life;
b. Our mistake is being settled by Nature through the medium of this person.
When whatever comes our way is a result of our own doing, why harness negativity for the other person when he is actually not at fault? This understanding helps us remain in a state of equipoise both during the circumstances of abhorrence (sorrow) and attachment (joy).
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says: “Equanimity is when abhorrence does not arise during the circumstances of abhorrence (sorrow) and attachment does arise during the circumstances of attachment (joy).”
8. Attaining Self-Realization. The above are easier said than done. Theoretically, they do sound nice to ears, but practically, it is indeed difficult. But when we attain Self-Realization, we gain the right vision and the right understanding that helps us jumpstart this entire process. The above points become easy to achieve then. Through Akram Vignan, we can attain Self-Realization directly, simply with the grace of Gnani!!!
9. Gnani takes us to the finish! Gnani gives us the experiential knowledge of the Self and enlightens us to the fact that we are really a Pure Soul. He also makes us understand how sorrow and joy are experienced merely by the ego, whereas we, as a Pure Soul, are always separate. He holds our hand and walks with us as we learn to tread on the path of equanimity, and encourages us with a broad smile every time we manage to take a baby-step ahead towards living a balanced life!
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