What Happens When Your Pride Is Stronger Than Your Feelings?
Being respectful is reflected in the courtesy with which we speak, act and treat one another. But the process of being so begins from within…
Whenever we meet someone, there are thoughts and feelings exchanged, words spoken and behaviours taking place. Each interaction leaves an impression on our mind of what we felt in their presence. In turn, our words, our behaviour, and the vibrations we send out are based on how we think and feel about them. But when our pride is stronger than our feelings, internally we are not able to forget certain interactions, where we’ve felt insulted, ignored or mistreated, for the sake of our feelings towards that person.
Suppose the one we share warm feelings with ignored us, or we had a difference of opinion or an argument when someone we love criticized. In such a situation, if our pride is stronger than our feelings, we create hurt within. The instance leaves behind a deep impression on our mind. That scene is over, their behaviour is over, they are not even present in front of us right now. Yet, the pride keeps reminding us of that scene and the copies of one impression multiplies into many.
As that instance continues to play on our mind, it creates vibrations which reaches them and keeps radiating to them day after day. And when we meet, we continue to carry the negative energy we’ve created, of, ‘you were rude with me, you don’t understand me’ in our mind. Can this interaction, which is based on the foundation of a past unpleasant experience, be pleasant? Never! When our pride is stronger than our feelings, the chances of every future interaction being pleasant further diminishes, because one who has pride is not prepared to forget or change the experience.
To change the experience, we just need to overcome our pride later in our moments of silence, “He did what he thought was right. I understand he is busy, I can manage, it’s so nice that others are benefitting through him. Maybe his mood was like that at that time. He must have been in so much of pain to have behaved that way. It was my bad karma which got over. He is ultimately a Pure Soul.”
By changing our thought process from negative to positive, we can stop the damage anytime. And by repenting over the way we responded when our pride overruled our feelings, we can even repair the old damage. And by seeing the person we love in his real form i.e. as a Pure being, we can elevate the relationship to a different level altogether.
Our life is not about the situations in our life. Our life is about how we think about the situations in our life. So henceforth, we can be positive and try to understand what others speak when they are criticizing rather than creating hurt inside. We shall try to understand their feelings, their pain, and deal with that situation rather than taking things onto ourselves.
For that, following are some of the steps, advised by Gnani, the Enlightened One:
1. Self-Realization. First and foremost, at our earliest convenience, we shall attain Self-Realization. In today’s times, with Akram Vignan on our side, it is possible to attain Self-Realization with the grace of the Living Gnani in just two hours time, for no cost whatsoever. After Self-Realization, the following steps will become much easier to put in practice.
2. Practice Self-awareness. After Self-Realization, following Gnani’s words, we are able to enhance the awareness of the real Self. In the light of the Self (the Pure Soul) the false pride begins to wane off on its own.
• See Positive. We’ll make it a practice to see atleast 5 positives of every person in case of whom our pride outweighs our feelings. And shall not forget that he’s really a Pure being!
3. Learn to admit, ‘I am wrong.’ To err is human. So what if we’ve made some mistake. We cannot be right in every situation. Hence, let’s learn to accept! Being able to admit when wrong is in fact a matter of great pride.
4. Prayer, Introspection and Pratikraman. Every morning, first thing we’ll do is a small prayer to God, “Dearest Lord! May I not cause slightest hurt to any living being in this world through my thoughts, words or actions.”
Thereafter, we shall take utmost care that we do not belittle anyone through our pride and hurt their feelings.
And every night, before we go to sleep, we shall spend atleast 10 minutes in introspecting our mistakes, especially those where we’ve hurt someone due to our pride. For each of those mistakes, we’ll seek forgiveness from God, “Dearest Lord! I made such and such mistake today. Please forgive me and grant me strength so that I never do this mistake again.”
By practicing this on a daily basis, we shall become light and experience sense of freedom like we’ve never felt before!
5. Superfluous in our interactions. This will help us be more open to what others have to say and understand what their real feelings are. It might seem difficult initially, but will get there in case we are determined.
6. Clear the hurt created within. We shall understand that the other person did what he thought was right. It was due to our pride that we created the hurt and held onto it. The real reason why situations or people did not behave as per our expectations was because of our own past deeds (karma); yet, we blamed them for our pain. Today, we shall release the blame and clear all the past impressions. Let’s ensure that any such scene does not live on our mind anymore.
Our opinions may differ. Past interactions may not have been pleasant. But past is over, present is beautiful and everything is perfect today. So, today, with Gnani’s blessings, let’s let go whatever happened. No matter how difficult it may appear to be, when we learn to let go our false pride, we will see how it nurtures healthy relationships and makes our feelings for each other grow to a supernatural level, where only sky is the limit!
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