Ways To Stop Feeling Insecure About Your Life And Relationship…


Ways To Stop Feeling Insecure About Your Life And Relationship



Once, we realize why and what makes us insecured – the solution is half reached.

Everyone feels insecured in some aspect of life – insecure feelings like – ‘I am not beautiful, I am alone, I am inferior, I do not get appreciated, I am not good with friends or relationships or I am not good financially.’ These negative beliefs about oneself actually drain energy and ruin self-confidence. No doubt, there are few genuine insecurities like, to secure a job one feels the need to acquire new skill or work on a second source of wealth.

Generally, the distinguishing factor about such genuine insecurity is that we take it as challenge and have a plan of action to overcome it. However, most of us feel insecure because of the tendency of comparison – where instead of counting our blessings, we count blessings of others!

The root cause of insecurity may be one of these – tendency of comparing with others or judging your self-worth against a perfect self-image or negative thoughts about life and past relationship mistakes or suspicion about partner or teenage kids or health.

Emotional insecurity like ‘I got left out’ and ‘he/she benefitted more than I did’ are prevalent between siblings, peers from early childhood. Despite having so much, it is the common human nature to keep on complaining and pining for more instead of being content with what one has. That nagging feeling about others having more or we do not get something or if we get less than others; makes ourselves miserable and insecure.

We do not enjoy whatever happiness we have been accorded with, and instead suffer the misery of comparison and lose our peace of mind. Misery of comparison is like if we find out that our friend has already watched the latest movie released, we feel, “I have not yet seen it. I have missed out.” That brings suffering! We did not have any unhappiness in the first place but by comparing with others, we invite suffering! Thus, we brought on all our sufferings. Such comparisons lead to constant inner fire of jealousy and insecurity.



There is no point in boiling blood and becoming sad about what you do not have. It is a waste of energy to focus on what you are missing, and the key to happiness is to take pleasure in what you have. Instead, you cast aside what you already have, and the happiness that goes with it, thinking, ‘How nice it would be if I had ‘that’ as well!’ For example, if your peer shoes size is seven, and your size is five, what do you think you will do? Will you start wearing her size seven shoes? Whatever she gets is in accordance to her acquired karmas.

You might think if we do not compare ourselves we cannot progress. Healthy comparison is good where we appreciate good qualities of others. By observing and appreciating the good qualities of others, unconsciously we too start developing the same qualities. Appreciating others will make us broad minded. When we wish well of others, the very feeling will remove obstacles impeding our own development and improve our own performance. We will be more focusing on the work and ‘what can be done’, instead of focusing on the other person and ‘what is not possible’.

Like comparison, another issue that makes us insecure is suspicion. Suspicion creates constant restlessness. It only creates pain and hurts yourself. It will eat you alive. Suspicion should be uprooted the moment it starts; otherwise, it will grow into a tree! Suspicion is not worth getting into. Nothing is going to happen outside of your karmic account. If your spouse or teenage kids comes home late, explain things and reason with them but do not become suspicious. Suspicion feeds the problem.

Another aspect of insecurity is negative thoughts that you carry due to past opinions. When a negative thought arises, try to replace it with a positive one. As Param Pujya Dadashri, an enlightened being says, “‘We’ win over ‘negative’ with ‘positive’”

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Dada Bhagwan

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In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and…

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