War Of Words
Through the sword, the body bleeds; and through hurtful words, the mind bleeds!
Words have a tremendous impact; people say their hearts have been wounded! This is nothing, but the effect of words and this world perpetuates because of these effects. History is also a witness; bitter words have been the cause of wars in the world.
There are various situations that arise in our life, which render us emotional. As a result, we may blurt hurtful words that could spoil our worldly relation with other people. The resulting consequences therefrom and its different phases bring us a lot of unhappiness!
• When you happen to abuse someone, as soon as you utter such words, a tremendous degree of scientific change takes place within you, producing so many phases, which will cause you to dislike that person for a minimum of two whole hours!
• You will not experience oneness with him, due to the subtle rift that occurs.
• And the vibrations of these hurtful words will keep hurting you for some time, more than it hurts the other person. Yes, hurtful words are more harmful to the speaker than the listener.
• Gnani Purush, the Enlightened One, whose speech encompasses all the four components of truth (speech that is beneficial, brief, pleasant and true) says, “When we utter a hurtful word, we are indulging in violence of our own Soul. Uttering even one negative word brings a dense veil over our knowledge.”
Due to the lack of our understanding of all these consequences, we err, and thus keep creating trouble for ourselves all day long! But, once one understands what is beneficial and what is harmful, changes are possible.
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan gives us some practical solutions of how we can purify our verbal interactions with family and friends, such that we hurt no one. For developing non-hurtful speech, he says:
1. Every morning, you should decide that, ‘May no living being be hurt through my mind, speech, and body even to the slightest extent. May no one’s ego be hurt by me, on any account.’ If you end up hurting someone, you should continue to keep your intent not to hurt anyone, firm.
2. Once your intention is clear and cut, due care is also necessary. There is no harm in discussing any issue with anyone, but you have to choose your words in such a way that the other person does not get hurt by them.
3. Now, despite having the intention and taking due care also, if something wrong happens, you have to sincerely repent for it. Apologize to the Soul residing in the other person. By asking for forgiveness for your hurtful speech, the effects of your words shall be minimized or may even be erased completely. Resolve not to repeat the mistake again.
4. Hurtful words arise out of adverse opinions we have created in the past. Our goal should be to become free from all opinions, such that the other person does not get hurt by us.
5. When you meet the person with whom you had an argument with, speak to them politely. Do not let your argument from yesterday shadow your interaction today. Your opinion today should be, ‘From now on, my opinion is to not hurt anyone.’ Yet every now and then, a mistake may happen. Gradually you will come to understand that, ‘This is an effect of the past, and my desire is not to hurt anyone.’ Eventually your mistakes will stop.
6. Until then, pray to God, “Oh Lord! Give me the infinite inner strength not to criticize, offend or insult any being, living or dead; and also may I not instigate anyone else to do so. Oh Lord, please reside in all your glory in my vocal cords!” Your speech will improve with these prayers, when done regularly and sincerely.
7. Maintain awareness that there is a pure Soul residing within the person you are talking to; this will help you to speak positively.
And say you happen to be at the receiving end of someone else’s hurtful words. Then,
1. Whatever you have said in past, is coming back to you as an echo. Without our fault, no suffering can come to us. When you remain in this awareness, no negativity will creep into your mind for the person serving you hurtful words.
2. Accept both, bitter and sweet words, with equanimity. This will keep you happy always!
3. Live in such a way that whatever hurts you, your intent is firm, “May such hurt never happen to others.” When someone says hurtful words to you and you feel hurt, you now know how it feels. So, vow never to use hurtful words in your speech, ‘How can I hurt others with what hurts me? Therefore, I definitely do not want to use any hurtful words.’
4. ‘May no one be hurt,’ encompasses giving happiness to others. With this intent always present within you, you are able to speak only polite words and you always remain happy.
5. By using sweet words, you can become one with someone you have had a severe fight with. Such is the power of sweet words!
One wrong word can instigate a fight and a sweet word can put an end to all fights too! Develop your speech to a level where it is sweet and pleasant so that it attracts people and wins them over! Speak positively, and your spoken words shall give enormous peace to the other person. And you will feel immense peace within you, too…
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