Value Your Beach

It wasn’t until a near death experience that I had a wake up call to action!  You see, I was so busy placing value on everyone else that I had no room for me.  Always searching for love outside of myself landed me right into a brick wall!  I found myself dangling in mid-air being choked by the hands of the one I thought I was madly in love with.  For years I endured physical, verbal, emotional and mental abuse.  I did not even realize I was in an abusive relationship, until one day I found myself at a police station getting a restraining order.  I sat down to fill out the paperwork and right beside me was a list of signs that read, “signs you are experiencing an abusive relationship”.  I was a rough little girl growing up so I considered myself pretty tough, but when I read those signs something spoke to me loud and clear.

Suddenly, I realized that growing up rough, tough and guarded was not a way to live. I was a very angry little girl from being molested at a very young age.   I carried the pain with me for years from relationship to relationship until I finally got counseling.  Then I found myself  back at square one,  being mistreated and abused just in other ways.  What is this pattern?   I began to wonder, what did I do to keep running into darkness?  It seemed as if every relationship was leaving me empty and more angry at the world.  It had gotten so bad I started to give out the same energy that I was receiving.  I began to treat everyone that I met with disrespect, not caring about anyone’s feelings but my own.  That little voice inside of me wanted a better life for me though.  So much guidance began to come as I prayed to find my way.

I read tons of self help books, I found books on how to forgive and heal from abusive relationships.  I also incorporated prayer and meditation into my daily life, which gave me the strength to forgive.  One of the most valuable pieces of information that I found in my research was that relationships are a mirror image of you.  Relationships that mirror us come to teach us about ourselves in order to help us grow.  What these relationships taught me was to first honor, love and value me!  By me not loving myself I encountered several relationships that validated my lack of self love.

What Is Your Beach?

Your beach can be whatever it is that allows you to honor and value yourself.  In other words, your beach should make you feel good.  Whatever feeling good in the most positive way is for you.  That may be long walks in nature, long baths, journaling, or even a simple glass of wine or cup of coffee.  When we take the time we need for ourselves as we navigate through life, life will begin to mirror back to us love and self care through others.

I have learned this lesson the hard way and have made it my mission to assist others with their self love journey.  I was very fortunate to survive domestic abuse as well as able to forgive and release my past.  Others may not have the ability to do so in their own strength, so writing blogs like this and sharing my story may motivate others experiencing domestic violence to let go and value their beach!


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Ladi Darah


Ladi Darah is a certified Life Coach and Author of book entitled “Love Revealed” , How I Discovered The Truth…

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