Unplugging From The Celestine Prophecy’s Control Dramas…

Unplugging From The Celestine Prophecy’s Control Dramas

Have you ever had someone in your life who just triggers you constantly? They barely have to breathe, and you react by feeling agitated and upset. You find yourself jumping down their throat at nothing. Or maybe you find yourself shrinking back and giving all of your power away to them, at the first sign of trouble.

If so, I hate to tell you that you have been the victim of a control drama.

So, you may be wondering what exactly a control drama is. The main idea is twofold. Firstly that most humans are consumed by the fear that there isn’t enough (emotional, mental or spiritual energy, resources, money, etc) in the world for everyone to have enough for their needs and therefore they must struggle and fight to gain enough to sustain themselves, and secondly that most humans are unable to simply plug into the unlimited energy of the planet/universe/spiritual world (whatever you choose to call it) to fulfill their needs without that struggle and fight.

Sounds exhausting, right? And yet, I bet it scarily rings true as well, if you are honest with yourself.

In this model of the world, we are constantly competing with each other for energy, and the control dramas are the way we humans have evolved our society to compete for and win energy, attention, and power over and from others. It’s a model that pretends there is only a finite amount of “good feelings” in the world, and our goal is to win enough to be safe and comfortable.

Sounds like a great place to live, right?

According to James, there are four control drama archetypes: The INTIMIDATOR, The INTERROGATOR, The ALOOF, and The POOR ME. While all of us have one main drama that we tend to fall back on, we almost all have the tendency to use one or more at some point to get our needs met. We use these archetypes to make ourselves feel better, and a byproduct is that our opponents end up feeling worse.

The best way to stop playing the control dramas game is to know and understand the four archetypes, and then to learn to spot them in their natural habitat – in your interpersonal relationships! Knowledge is true power, and once you know what the dramas are, you are much less likely to play into them, as you are able to plug into the universal energy that is all around us.

First, I want to talk about The INTIMIDATOR.

The basics: intimidators use bullying and intimidation to get what they want, and don’t care who they run over in the process!

They can manipulate others into doing things they don’t want to do, simply by force of will – threatening, aggression, and hostility are their favorite methods to ensure others do what they demand. Common phrases include “You must do this or I will do that” or “If you do that, I won’t do this.” They also like to issue ultimatums.

Guess what, though? Intimidators can be sneaky – they can also use guilt to get what they want! “If you loved me, you would do this” or “I can’t believe you did that to me” are common phrases they use to create a situation where their victims feel so badly that they are willing to do anything to avoid that pain. It’s the threat of “or else” that keeps others in line.

Intimidators are actually scared to death to be seen as weak, as they are terrified of feeling inferior and insecure.

So, who do you know who fits this archetype? What tactics do they use to control you?

Next up is INTERROGATORS.

The basics: interrogators are always making others wrong for their thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions, and choices in life.

They like to question your choices and leave you second-guessing yourself. They are master manipulators, using phrases such as “I’m not sure that’s a good idea” or “why did you do that?” to plant seeds of doubt in your head. Interrogators have an underlying goal of finding fault and tend to be hyper-critical.

Interrogators have a horror of being seen as inferior, less intelligent and less intuitive, as they are terrified of not measuring up to some impossible level of perfection.

So, who do you know who fits this archetype? What tactics do they use to control you?

Then along come the ALOOFS.

The basics: aloofs use an air of mystery to draw others in and make them determined to pry answers out.

They like to play cat and mouse with their inner and outer lives, and having a conversation with one can feel a little like having a conversation with a computer (or an old school psychiatrist). Getting to really know an aloof can feel a lot like nailing paint to a wall – an impossible task. They will turn back a conversation on you quick as a flash, and leave you wondering what just happened. Common phrases include “what do you think” and one-word answers that leave you more in the dark than you were before!

Aloofs have a deep mistrust of the outside world and are afraid to open up in case they get hurt. They also find that having an air of mystery draws others in, so if they have been ignored in their past, they use this tactic to create a curiosity about themselves.

So, who do you know who fits this archetype? What tactics do they use to control you?

Finally, we have the poor, POOR ME’s.

The basics: poor me’s use their victimhood as a weapon. They wear the mantle of martyr like a king/queen wears a crown. And, nothing is ever their fault.

Their preferred method of getting what they want is to paint the entire world as an antagonist that is against them and which they will never defeat. They like to complain, while not doing anything to fix their problems. They also tend to be master manipulators, insomuch as they like to make everyone else feel sorry for them, do things for them, and will use their seeming helplessness to their advantage at every turn.

Poor me’s have learned that by crying about their situation (playing the damsel in distress – even the men!), they can get others to do their bidding, gain a lot of sympathy and avoid a lot of the hard work of life.

Poor me’s are motivated by a deep-seated need to be the victim and are afraid of taking responsibility for their lives and their choices.

So, who do you know who fits this archetype? What tactics do they use to control you?

So, how do we unplug from this drama?

Now that we have explored all four control dramas, take a moment to identify which of them the people closest to you use most often. Once you have figured out how those close to you use these techniques to get what they need, it’s important to be honest with yourself and identify which control dramas do you use most often. This is the first step towards unplugging from the control grid.

The next step is to learn to identify control dramas as they play out in real time – watching people and situations and figuring out which archetype they are using to get their needs met.

Once you have this knowledge, you are able to either point out their use of this tactic or to redirect their behavior by refusing to react in a way that gives them the power they seek. Either way, your life just got a lot more peaceful!

Photo by JR Korpa on Unsplash

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Sheri Sutherland

I was a successful property manager until years of stress and anxiety in my personal life caused an auto-immune disease,…

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