How To Find Your ‘Tribe’
Your Heart Tribe
Who hasn’t felt different at one time or another?
We all know the silence that follows stating our minds at a family event or holiday dinner.
The raised eyebrows, the disbelief that we could even consider having different religious beliefs, or a lack thereof, the shock of having differing political opinions, worldviews, and so forth.
It’s all part of growing, learning, and evolving into our authentic selves.
Our beliefs and opinions will change over the years as we grow and learn.
If they do not, then most likely we are not learning and growing.
It’s a very natural process, and as we get older and have more experiences, we realize that all this growing, flowing, and changing is just a part of life.
But do not expect all the people in your life to embrace the changes that occur along your journey.
Sometimes, the people who claim to love us the most have the biggest problem with our growth.
Differing Perceptions on Life
Relationships are easy when we agree on everything from day-to-day living to politics and worldviews.
When any one of these differs greatly, there can be animosity, fear, and a myriad of other emotions and feelings that we must learn to accept or deal with.
The stronger our disagreements and the more they affect our lives on a daily basis, the harder it can be to have a meaningful, enjoyable relationship.
This is no one’s fault.
It’s just because of huge differences in our backgrounds, experiences, and beliefs.
It doesn’t mean that one is more intelligent than the other or that they are better.
It only means that we are all individuals who exist at different levels of perceptions.
Sometimes, we can agree to disagree and work around our differences.
But this must be a mutual effort.
If it isn’t, then one person will always be making the greater effort to keep the peace, and that can be a very lonely and difficult position to be in.
So how do we keep the peace yet remain true to ourselves and our values?
There are many ways to solve the problem of mutual disagreements.
We can get angry, shout, and say hurtful things, all the while knowing that we are not going to change the other’s opinions and beliefs.
We can also agree to disagree, be civil, and be adults about the whole situation.
In this case, we can get along when we need to but never have a meaningful relationship because of these deep differences.
This type of solution often works best when the relationship is with coworkers, non-immediate family, or casual friends.
But what about when it’s someone we live with, are in love with, or someone who is dependent on us for daily needs, such as a housebound parent or a spouse?
This is where it gets a bit tricky.
Acknowledgment, Acceptance, and Letting Go
As loving, caring human beings, it would be wonderful if we could smile, never hurt anyone’s feelings, and all love and respect one another.
And sometimes, the people we are dealing with have that same attitude about life.
They, and us, simply want to love one another and get along despite our differences.
They respect us enough to allow us our own growth and space and to hold our own unique ideals and outlooks.
But sometimes we are not so lucky. Some people, because of their own issues, be it a hurtful past, fear of change or whatever, refuse to allow us any growing room.
They expect us to hold the same views on what they consider to be highly important in life and will never allow us the space to learn and grow.
So, what can we do to keep from changing ourselves just to get along with these types people?
Unfortunately, if we value our own uniqueness and worth, we will not be able to live someone else’s life for very long.
We can bend and twist in all different ways and shapes to try to fit into the life of those who refuse to bend or twist, but that is not living authentically.
That is only a half-life.
Do not let others change you to fit into their small views.
If you do, you will find yourself with insufficient space to breathe.
There are people out there who will cherish us for who we are…differences and all.
Tribal Hearts Beat as One
There is a group of people who show up in our lives, and we feel as if we’ve known them forever.
We feel comfortable—at ease with them.
These people embrace our uniqueness as their own.
Our hearts beat toward the same overall goals and ideals.
We feel at home and at peace when we’re with them.
These people are our Tribe.
And they are the ones we will build our lives around, whether they live near or far.
Finding them is not something we must go out and search for.
More likely than not, our tribe will find us.
And we shall know them by the way they heal our hearts and raise our energy when we are with them.
Love and respect all, but always honor your tribe.
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