The Illusion Of Being Used

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It Was All Me

I used to allow myself to feel like a victim, I would always say that I have such a good heart, people are always taking advantage of me. This was a personal challenge that I could not seem to escape. I thought that being kind and giving was something that God wanted from us.

I was wrong, I was not being kind or loving, I was simply being too nice. Many of us good-natured people somehow believe that love is constantly giving and trying to help others. Yes, the world is filled with givers and takers, but that is a flaw.

Why? When we are truly working from love we are supposed to be balanced which means to give and receive. We confuse love with insecurity. A giver must be able to give then wait to receive, if someone is not giving back then we must stop giving period! A taker is not supposed to take advantage of someone’s niceness, their conscience should kick in so that they should feel to give back.

We are still learning about love which is the ability to love ourselves, which is to respect our feelings and our self-worth. People that constantly give are just people-pleasers, they are not working from unconditional love, they are insecure. These types of people were not given enough love from their parents. We learn to love from our mother and father. If we were neglected in some way we will spend our lives looking outside of ourselves to receive love, which is dangerous. This is basically saying since I don’t know how to love me because my parents didn’t express love to me, then I need to find others that would show me love.

This is a victim mindset that keeps us constantly being used abused by others. How can someone love me if I do not love my own wroth? This is why so many are looking to be in relationships, this can also be friendships too. I was played for a fool many times, once someone saw my insecurity, they fed me lies or fake love to keep me giving up my power.

The truth is we should love all of who we are and accept ourselves first before we enter relationships of any kind, this way we share our happiness and our love for ourselves with others, we are not supposed to give anyone love. Giving love and sharing the love we already feel for ourselves is not the same thing. Our cups are already full, we don’t need to look for others to fill our own cups, we are a whole person before we met them.

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So after someone gets bored and used us up, we then cry like a victim, this is only because most people do not understand how to love themselves. The taker does not know how to love because they too do not know how to love themselves. All they know is to use and abuse, in their mind they too feel that they are loving. How can a taker share love that they do not even have for themselves?

So a giver and a taker are the same, but because of polarity one has to choose to be a giver or a taker, both are emotionally damaged.

So they actually think that being a giver makes them show how an innocent person that is loving. So the enemy is not the taker it was me all along because I was willingly giving my power away to them to receive love. This is how I forgave everyone that hurt me because it was my fault, they were just treating me based on how I felt about my worth.

There are no victims, people treat us based on how we feel about ourselves. Peace Comes In Pieces

https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp/post/the-illusion-of-being-used

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