How Spirituality Helped Me Quit Drinking
Having been indoctrinated with Buddhist wisdom as a little girl growing up in Taiwan by my grandmother, I have always been into the esoteric.
But having an abusive alcoholic father garnered me a 50% genetic predisposition to alcoholism. Factor in childhood trauma and let’s just say that it was inevitable I would fall down the rabbit hole of struggling with my own drinking addiction.
SEE ALSO: Buddha’s 6 Rules Of Love
Living with addiction
Battling the addiction for eleven years, I would find ways to cope. Whether it would be through psychics, energy healers, astrologers, spiritual advisers, and tarot readers, I always sought outside guidance hoping that they would tell me what I wanted to hear: that someday by the force of a miracle, I would be cured of my addiction and could merrily drink whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted. Suffice to say, that never happened. The ones who did see through me would tell me that I could never touch a drink for the rest of my life. Being in my 20’s at the time, that was absolutely unfathomable. They might as well have told me that I was going to die by the end of the day.
I just couldn’t imagine living life without my best friend. After all, alcohol was always there. When I needed its comfort and solace to wallow, and needed superhero moxie, it gave me everything that I could have ever asked for and then some — blackouts, the fits of rage, and depression. But it was so worth it to me because I became somebody that I so badly yearned to be with the help of alcohol.
I lost jobs and relationships because of it. Having been so trapped in my own victimization, I never saw that. I always blamed everyone rather than myself and my addiction. Though, deep down, I knew. Just a little over three years ago, the man who I thought was the love of my life broke up with me and it absolutely devastated me beyond belief. I even perceived that he had broken my heart in 1,000 pieces. And guess what? Alcohol played a role in the breakup.
Spirituality saves the day
Because the breakup changed me on a cellular structure, I started questioning my own drinking habits and told myself that I would need to stop if I truly wanted to cultivate a loving relationship with myself.
When I half made up my mind that 9/5/16 would be my first sober day, I happened to be listening to a tarot video on YouTube. Just as I was debating if I should have one last hurrah before calling it quits, the tarot reader pulled out an archangel oracle card and proceeded to say, “If any of you Sagittarius have a drinking problem, Archangel Michael wants you to know that you have to stop right now.”
That was it for me.
Not the times that I blacked out, not getting arrested for a DUI, not the times I had been raped, not losing the relationships that I did up until that point in my life. NOTHING. In that moment of surrender, I waved the white flag to the Universe and asked them to help me through sobriety. I had absolutely no faith in myself so asked them to hold my hand and guide me down the journey of recovery.
I didn’t go to AA meetings or rehab because I had tried in the past but couldn’t stand the messages that they were trying to brainwash me with. I was too ashamed to tell my friends. My entire family had turned their backs on me so that was out of the question. I didn’t seek out therapy because I had tried it in the past and found it to be effective until it wasn’t.
Physically, I had no one so I became the lone wolf in my recovery journey. But spiritually, I had the divine protection and guidance that I needed. It was by the force of a miracle that I had yearned for. It just wasn’t the outcome I had hoped for all those years ago. But something better. A life of abstinence from drinking while traveling the spiritual path.
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