How Can We Be Happy Without Depending On Anyone?
We living beings are dependent on each other, not only for meeting our basic needs of survival but also for our physical, mental and emotional well-being. We are happy when we have good worldly comforts and healthy relationships with our near and dear ones, but feel unhappy when there is a dearth of desired material objects or there is instability in any of our relationships in life.
This leads one to wonder if it is possible to be happy without depending on anyone. If yes, how can one achieve this state of happiness?
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Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan explains that there are two types of happiness:
- Worldly happiness, which is derived from external circumstances, material objects and/or the fulfillment of our expectations that we have from ourselves and the people with whom we are in a relationship with.
- Eternal Happiness or pure happiness that is derived from knowledge of one’s true Self; from the realization that one is nothing but a pure Soul.
The first type of happiness is temporary and relative. For example, we feel happy when we buy a new car and we praise our wisdom for picking the most efficient option available in the market. But suppose the car breaks down the very next day, the happiness we experienced goes away and leaves behind anger or regret in its place.
Param Pujya Dadashri explains that this type of relative happiness is dependent on external circumstances. That is why such happiness does not last long. Eternal happiness, on the other hand, is independent of the external circumstances. One who has attained the Eternal Happiness understands that true happiness always remains constant – there is no increase or decrease. He is aware that ‘the new car is a result of my previous karma and the eventual break-down of the car is also an effect of my previous karma.’ And therefore there is no reason to be elevated in the former situation and depressed in the latter.
Happiness in relationships
Similarly, in relationships, when our loved ones fulfill our expectations, we feel happy and contented. But when they don’t, even unintentionally, we feel betrayed and unhappy. Such is the pendulum of worldly happiness – it oscillates between states of happiness and sorrow. But if one has achieved the Eternal happiness, it is possible to remain immune from the aforementioned pendulum i.e. it is possible to remain happy despite changes and fluctuations in the behaviors of our loved ones.
From a spiritual perspective, only when one has achieved Self-Realization can one experience this pure and real Eternal happiness which does not depend on anyone nor falters in any situation. Self-Realization means to realize that, ‘really I am not this body or the name that I am identified with, I am a Pure Soul”. The Soul is independent and therefore the happiness derived from the Soul too is not dependent on anyone or anything outside us.
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