The Energetic Cause Of Multiple Miscarriages, And How To Break The Pattern
Many women understandably have a really hard time with miscarriages mostly because of the loss of something they really wanted. But also it’s still a hush-hush thing, and many women don’t realize how common it actually is. A surprising 10 to 20% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage, but most of us wouldn’t know that because it’s kept under wraps; but also because we can feel like a failure and don’t want people to know our “shortcomings”. This, unfortunately, makes our grief and healing more difficult.
In my work with my holistic fertility clients, the major tenet of is that there’s an emotional cause to the physical issue. Once that emotional cause is identified and processed, the physical condition doesn’t need to be there anymore. We often think our body is failing us, when really it’s an amazing map that lets us know when we have some work to do. This can admittedly be hard to do on your own, especially when you’re in the throes of all the feelings that come with having had a miscarriage. When miscarriages happen, the mind-body cause is fear of the future and inappropriate timing. Initially, you’ll think, “No way! I was totally ready,” but I guarantee there was a reason if you really investigate.
Many of us have way more going on in our lives than we realize. We can be saying we want a baby ‘til the cows come home, but if it’s not the right timing, it’s not the right timing. Many of us are doers and go-getters, and we try to force when and how these things will happen. You can do that in some areas of your life, but not so much with pregnancy. If you’re going to school, working full time, taking care of ailing parents, spouse is out of work and you hate your job, it’s not ideal timing for this baby to come in. And so as hard as it is, that’s why we’re met with a situation like a miscarriage to put things in perspective and to realize that we’re doing too much and need to re-prioritize.
Guilt and Overwhelm
Some women have miscarriages because they have guilt from a previous abortion. Not one of my clients took the decision to terminate lightly, but most never discussed with anyone, leaving those feelings to fester in the body, and leading to the physical problem of carrying to full term now whether it be out of guilt, or fear of karma or punishment. Another common emotional cause for miscarriage is being so overwhelmed and distraught that the next pregnancy might end up the same way. It’s so hard when we have one miscarriage to not be freaked out about the next pregnancy making it. It’s really easy to plug into the belief that because it happened once, it’ll happen again.
We don’t know how to address the reason for the first one, and are scared for another one, so often the pattern of multiple miscarriages perpetuates.
Doctors often don’t know what the cause of the miscarriage was and they don’t know why multiple miscarriages happen. I will tell you that it’s not because you’re not physically capable, but more because of where your mindset is. From the Law of Attraction perspective, like energy attracts like energy. So if you’ve had a miscarriage and you’re constantly putting out the belief, “It’s going to happen again, it’s going to happen again, it’s going to happen again,” and like energy attracts like energy so you’re being met with an energetic match to the thoughts you’re putting out. Is it natural to be scared? Of course. Just because you think the thought a couple of times doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. But when you think that thought over and over and over, it becomes a belief; and that’s when you run into a problem. Working through that fear is imperative for the next pregnancy to work.
One of my clients had three miscarriages and then couldn’t get pregnant again. Her brain was deathly afraid of her body being in danger a fourth time, so it just shut down her reproductive and endocrine systems. This happens because of your fight-or-flight response. While we are no longer chased by large-toothed animals, we still have that primal response to decide whether we should stay and fight the situation, or run from it. If your body has been through the physical (miscarrying, D&C recovery), and emotional pain of one or more miscarriages; your brain (whose primal job is to keep you alive) is going to say, “WHY would we put ourselves through that again?!” And it just shuts down your reproductive system. It rejects the idea of you doing this to yourself again.
Shifting Your Energy
Below are some things you can do to begin to shift your energy out of the current pattern and into a new one. Write down all of this because there’s something cathartic about the physical act of writing. It also helps you process your thoughts more when you write versus just thinking about it. Take each miscarriage individually when doing these exercises. You may be surprised what you find.
Ask the following questions:
- Were you in a financially scary place?
- Was your relationship not stable?
- Were you in flux with your career or starting a new job?
- Did you move?
- Were you taking care of an ailing loved one?
- Are you scared to death of the birth process?
- Do/did you have high anxiety?
Really do some searching of what your circumstances were when the miscarriage happened. This will apply to miscarriages and terminations as well (and the subconscious guilt we can still carry). If it still feels scary, pull out a belief sheet and look at “I miscarried before, so I will again”, or if a termination is involved “I’m being punished for the termination by not getting pregnant now.” They’re both not true but I get why they feel true, so really feel into them. Don’t think the answers. Feeling is how you shift.
Go Through Your Feelings
After some belief work, some energy work and coaching through why things happened, my clients are able to let go of the fear and get/stay pregnant. You cannot skip over your fear though. The Universe doesn’t listen to what you’re saying (I want to be a mum!), it listens to the energy you’re putting out (What if it happens again? It’s going to happen again). You cannot fool it. Address your fears now so that you can attract in the results that you want, versus what you don’t want.
For external help, I find Valor oil by Young Living really helpful for fertility in general, but especially with miscarriage fear. Apply to the base of your spine and bottoms of your feet. Also, Sara™ or Release™ essential oil, by Young Living. They’re great for processing past trauma and can help with releasing the stored trauma of miscarriage or terminations. Click here to get your Essential Oils for Fertility Checklist to find out how therapeutic grade oils can aid fertility. Enduring something as painful as a miscarriage can make us feel angry, hopeless and out of control; but by doing these exercises, inquiring and shifting your mindset, you can shift your outcome. I’ve seen it happen in my practice more times than I can count.
In fact, my sister-in-law was one of my clients who had two miscarriages and was scared to death of being pregnant again, so her body wasn’t “allowing” her to get pregnant. She felt defeated and was about to call it quits on the whole baby thing.
The work we did together produced my nephew who I am absolutely in love with. You have way more power than you’re aware of.
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