What Death Taught Me About Love…

What Death Taught Me About Love

In the past 6 months, two people I loved “died” or – more appropriately stated – made their transition back into non-physical. They did so at a time I did not agree with. In a manner, I did not approve of and without consulting me first. How rude, I thought. As I crumbled to the ground in a heap. Twice.

The story could have ended there or stayed there for days, for weeks or months or years even. But as someone who consistently communicates with non-physical energy, there was no way I could just leave it there. I know too much. I can’t throw my hands up, say it’s a terrible thing and let myself be crushed by the weight of what feels like a loss. Because I know what happens when we “die.” My grandfather came to my bedside 2 months after he “died.” My non-physical Spirit Team gives me all the deets and info I could ever hope to know about death. And so…

I know everything is okay, that a transition is simply a transitioning of energy, that I can communicate with these Loved ones and that all is well. Even so, I found myself crying in the grocery store when I realized my friend would never go to the grocery store again in the body I knew them in. Still, I cried when I awoke from a dream with a clear accounting that all truly was well and my Loved one was at peace and in happiness. I cried. A lot. And still, I felt angry. A lot. It could not have been their time to transition I argued. I found more arguments to throw at Spirit like – we need Advanced Souls on this plane. He needed more time to heal and evolve! And it most certainly should not have happened the way that it did.

And I continued on…

Who the hell came up with this birth/death process anyway?! What genius thought this death thing was a good idea?! I even found myself arguing with Spirit about the whole damn point of us being here in bodies, to begin with. What was the point if we were all just going to leave each other anyway?!

SEE ALSO: 8 Simple Ways To Stop ‘Overwhelm’ In Its Tracks

Answers from Divine Love

Of course, I was reminded that no one was leaving anyone and my limited perspective was causing me tremendous pain. So I leaned into my grief, into my pain, into my tears and once the grief wave for that moment passed I asked, “What would Divine Love have me know and do right now?”

And as is usually the case, Divine Love had many things to tell me and also ask me. Turns out, these transitions were a Divine catalyst for my embodiment as Love. These transitions were presenting me with so many opportunities to get crystal clear about what truly matters to me, as I am still here, in a body, on this physical plane and to live THAT more fully. To get there, I had to let myself grieve. I had to let the tears flow, witness the irrational thoughts (i.e., why didn’t I do more while they were still in a body, why didn’t I catch the hints that their time was coming to a close in the body sooner than I expected), and go into the feelings of loss that coursed through me.

I had to do this every time it presented and I had to let myself feel it – whatever it was – full on. I didn’t want it to stay in my body. I didn’t want to store the grief inside of me by stuffing it down real tight like I had before whenever heartbreak entered my life. I wanted to let their transitions break me open to greater LOVE, and greater Loving. In this state of greater Loving, it became so clear to me what is actually true about this in the body experience. Love is the most powerful force on this plane (and any plane) of consciousness. It transcends everything else we *think* is important, including fulfilling some “purpose” in the form of outside actions and endeavors. Whoa.

Love is the Reason

Love and to fully love and to fully experience Love is the ONLY reason you and I actually incarnated onto this plane of consciousness. We could be in some of the most non-loving experiences, and still rise UP and choose Love and loving. We had to learn how to Love even when it seemed non-Love was everywhere. We had to learn how to Love even when it felt like our hearts were breaking as those we Loved left this plane or just plain left us. Of course, you and I already know the power of this Love because in just this one lifetime alone, you and I have taken many actions – some embarrassing, some over the top and some downright beautiful – all in the name of Love.

I’ve tripped over stairs and fallen flat on my face. I’ve followed dreams and signs and nudges only to have Love say to me that it wanted to just be friends (um, ouch). I’ve cried heaps and heaps and loads and loads when Love could not meet me where I wanted it to and so I had to leave. We’ve all been trying to “figure” it out as it were. How do we Love fully? How do we Love even when everyone we Love is going to leave their body – ourselves included? How does a Love like that thrive even amidst seemingly impossible circumstances?

Fortunately for you and me and all of us, we’ve been given access to the supports and tools to do exactly this, while in this body – IF we use our free will to say “yes” and use those tools. Because here’s what I know without a shadow of a doubt – at the end of this lifetime, it won’t be more money, more material items, more houses, more wealth or more fame that we long for – it will be more Love.

It will be more loving moments. It will be more tenderness. It will be more laughter with those we love. More sweetness. More soft and beautiful intimacies. All we will call out for in the final moments of our Life unfolding will be one more day, one more moment of Love with those we love. And so, what about if right now, you (and I) stop pretending that anything other than Love is important? What if you drop the illusion, drop the distractions and BE in this now moment and affirm that LOVE is all that you truly desire, all that anyone else truly desires and all that actually matters?

Express Love Now

And then from that place ask what Divine action you can take knowing that Love is all that truly matters. Because you don’t have to have two people close to you “die” or make their transition for you to “get” this. You don’t have to wonder what would have happened if you had picked up that call or didn’t let the conversation end where it did.

Today, I am saying the hard things more readily. While I’m someone who feels Love deeply, I am not one who speaks it as easily. I can write it, I can feel it, but verbalizing it into form is often uncomfortable, even awkward for me. But I don’t get another day or another phone or Skype call or another moment with two people who were really important to me. And so, I have to lean into Love more fully. This means I’m not getting off of the phone with the man I Love or parting ways until I’ve said all of the beautiful things I need to say to honor him and me and our partnership.

I’m not letting time pass with discord. I’m speaking up and saying “I love you” as I also say the other hard things that I would usually sweep under the rug or pretend I didn’t care about. I’m hearing the whispers within and I’m not thinking “Oh, I’ll have tomorrow for that.” I speak it and do it today. And I speak it and do it knowing that maybe we have tomorrow, maybe we do not. But I will be damned if anything goes unspoken or unshared or left for “another time”.

When you live in this way you can know right now, today that you lived your life fully in Love, as Love, with Love fueling all of your decisions and actions. And that will set you free. And that will be everything you ever needed to know about being in a body, and everything you ever needed to really “do” or accomplish or “achieve.”

Love and loving is all that ever mattered and thank goodness you and I didn’t have to “die” to realize it.


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Kristian Strang


Heather Kristian Strang is an author and spiritual guide who supports feminine healers, coaches, therapists and creatives in living their…

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