Cultivating A Loving Spirit
“Give pleasure. Lose no chance in giving pleasure. For that is the ceaseless and anonymous triumph of a truly loving spirit” -Henry Drummond
A loving spirit is tender, gentle and sweet. Whether we are alone or with others, it’s nice to enjoy our own company, become more pleasant to be around, and live in peace. In his ‘Analysis of Love’, Henry Drummond states, “Good temper is the triumph of a truly loving spirit. It is not easily provoked. We are inclined to look upon bad temper as a very harmless weakness. We speak of it as a mere infirmity of nature, a matter of temperament, not a thing to take into very serious account in estimating a man’s character. And yet here, right in the heart of the analysis of love, it finds a place…Condemn it as one of the most destructive elements of nature”.
Ill-temper is a vice of the virtuous and an unloving characteristic. Whether it’s bullying, seeking negative attention, being quick tempered, self-righteous, and quarrelsome, it has debilitating effects on our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Eric Butterworth states, “When a person loses his unity, “loses his cool”, a dispiriting process takes place. The health consciousness is lowered and the disruption of the cells take place”. He contends that the major cause of life’s discord is the absence of love and the ignorance of the way love works. Where there is discord there is a great need for love…and hostility, anger and discord will cease. Therefore, being of good-temper is essential to experience a better relationship with ourselves and healthy connections with others.
For many, life is fraught with continuous reactions and habitual ways of responding. We can respond more consciously and treat ourselves and others more lovingly by cultivating a loving spirit. When we are in good temper, we are amicable, agreeable, and not easily ruffled and provoked. Good tempered people master their emotions without offending others. Demonstration of good temper, a natural neutralizing force, can be achieved by bringing clarity to a situation, being non-reactive, drawing on our inner essence, and meditating on love.
Bring clarity to the situation
Focus on what really matters. Discern whether a situation warrants attention. Posing reflective questions can help us gain a better understanding and a fresh outlook. Are there unresolved issues that you need to face? Is there a need to set healthy boundaries? Do you need to let go of past hurts and forgive? The optimal desire is to make wise decisions for the highest good of all. Having a sense of humor can shift your perspective. Set the intention for less confusion and visualize your desired outcome. We can express our concerns without causing pain to ourselves and others.
We are constantly responding to what happens within and around us. Sometimes we may be angry at the wrong things and make unjustifiable assumptions. We may also find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time with someone lashing out without cause. Whether we feel unfairly treated or triggered by a highly emotional situation, we are in control of how we respond. Taking a non-reactive stance is not being a doormat or non-assertive, it’s a way to draw the line in the sand and stand up for ourselves in a healthy manner. It is essential to reframe from being confrontational, critical and condemning and avoid unnecessarily fueling a potentially harmful situation. Consciously choose how to respond in the best interest of all involved.
Draw on your inner essence
Bring forth your inner vitality of love, peace and joy. Our inner essence floods us with self-acceptance, self-appreciation, and feelings of worthiness. Be aware of your thoughts and how you are feeling. I often use the word ‘Halt’ the moment negative feelings emerge as a signal to avoid staying in the energy of low vibration. Gently acknowledge your feelings, release disturbing thoughts, and reframe with loving thoughts. Reflect love, the truth of who you truly, your natural state of being. Be in control of your energy and how you respond. Soften and rejuvenate your energy with the beauty of nature, soothing music, deep cleansing breaths, and relaxation exercises. Live with grace and ease by drawing from the power within.
Meditate on love
Love is an attitude and expression of character. It is also our greatest challenge. The great need is to be loved and the deepest need is the expression of love from inside out. Contemplate what love really means and how it makes you feel when you are loving and in good temper. Journaling is a powerful tool to communicate your intimate thoughts and feelings and chart your progress. As Eric Butterworth states, “Love is a universal energy and divine activity. As we activate the love within, expression of the energy of love creates an atmosphere in which another person’s growth process may be reactivated and love released”. Let your highest expression of love be reflected in good temper and create a ripple effect of change.
Like a lingering sweet fragrance, a loving spirit is endearing, pleasant and the highest spiritual virtue. Good temper brings forth the highest expression of ourselves, and with ceaseless practice, we achieve inner harmony and build healthy relationships with others. A powerful natural and neutralizing force, good temper inspires a loving spirit. We have a better disposition, grow in beauty, and become more pleasing to ourselves and others. It’s worth it!
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