The Genius Of Self-Love: 10 Steps To Revolutionize Your Life
Learning to take care of myself has been one of my biggest challenges.
For most of my life, I was the girl who took care of everybody else. I wanted to be the greatest friend. The best partner. A good daughter.
I distracted myself because I was scared to go inside. Focusing on everyone else and not giving myself what I truly needed fed my ego and made me feel that I was a “good person.” Although people appreciated me always being there for them, I started to realize I was neglecting the most important person of all… myself.
It was only recently that I learned how to practice extreme self-love, and I’m still stumbling along the way.
My ingrained “pattern” is still to put others first—to sacrifice myself, my emotional well-being, sometimes even my heart—to be there for someone else and make a difference in their lives.
But I’m finding the only way to true happiness is to fall in love with ourselves first and practice self-love every day. This requires letting go of our past, forgiving ourselves, and setting boundaries with others.
If we can do this, love will be directly reflected back to us in the quality of our relationships, work, and health. We shift from being a victim of our circumstances and start manifesting and directing our own lives from a place of power and consciousness.
Build a solid support system.
Surround yourself with people who love you, inspire you, and encourage you to keep going.
We can’t do things alone, and that includes moving through tough times.
Nurture and call on the people in your life who tell you how amazing you are every day and who don’t judge, but help you in a loving way to learn from your mistakes and move forward with a deeper understanding of yourself.
Walk away from toxic relationships.
If there is anyone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart, walk away.
If there is anyone who isn’t adding to your life or making you feel good about yourself, walk away.
There are so many other people in this world who can nourish you.
Invest your time in them and let go of the ones who drain you, take from you, and don’t feed your soul.
Take care of your body.
When we get stressed or are dealing with painful emotions, it’s so much easier to not take care of ourselves or our bodies, but treating your body like a temple will not only boost your self-love, but also your energy.
Be conscious about what you are putting into it every day and get in as much exercise as possible.
It’s not about looking good but feeling good about the way you’re treating yourself.
Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend.
We would never speak to a good friend the way we sometimes talk to ourselves, so keep that in mind daily.
The harsh inner voice… silence it. Compliment yourself at least once a day.
Acknowledge one thing you’re currently proud of that you’re doing in your life. And when you screw up, tell yourself it’s okay.
That’s what you’d tell a friend, wouldn’t you?
Honor your thoughts and feelings.
Nothing that we feel is wrong. Sadness, anger, jealousy, grief—we may not want to feel it, but if it’s there, we need to acknowledge it and get it out.
Journaling is a great way to release emotions we are processing.
It can be as simple as, “I’m feeling angry that…” “I’m devastated today over…” Just get it out, and don’t judge it.
We’re human and have the right to feel whatever we feel.
Find your happy place and go there.
Whether it’s a Yoga class, drinks out with friends, painting, or a walk on the beach, make the time to do it.
We often find ourselves saying, “I love to do this, but I don’t have time.”
This is not self-love. This is being a martyr.
The best way to truly take care of yourself is to fit in the activities that make you feel happy. You only live once, so you deserve to take time to do things that make you happy.
You know that thing you did one time—or maybe a few times—that you aren’t proud about or made you feel embarrassed, ashamed, or just plain shitty? It’s time to let that go.
You can’t change the things you have done in the past, but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and move on.
Create good boundaries.
It’s okay to say no to people if you’re doing it out of love for yourself.
“No” or “I’m sorry, I can’t” doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a person who loves yourself and can stand by a boundary.
Take time every day to just breathe.
We rush through our days trying to fit in more and more, overloading ourselves with appointments and things to do.
It takes a toll on our minds and our bodies.
Find just 15 minutes a day to go within, breathe, and tune into what’s going on with you. Positive affirmations are also a great way to bring yourself back to YOU during meditation.
There is nothing that shows a lack of love for yourself than constantly repressing how you feel or not showing people who you truly are. It’s the same as living a lie day in and day out.
Honor who you are.
That person is beautiful, no matter where you’re at in your journey.
If you can start doing these simple things, you’ll notice an improvement not just in the quality of your life but the quality of the relationship you have with yourself as well.
When we give ourselves what we need, we’re truly honoring and respecting ourselves the way we deserve and will see the quality of our own lives improve dramatically.
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