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Celibacy

If you think celibacy is only for monks and nuns, you just might want to reconsider that view.

Until a few years ago, I thought the same.

Celibacy? You’re kidding, right?!

But what I’ve learned is that while it may not be for everybody, there some powerful lessons to for us in following this often misunderstood pathway.

One of the most amazing truths I’ve learned is this pathway has the power to lead us back to ourselves.

Okay, I’m not saying it’s for everyone, and it does have some disadvantages, but think of it in the same way as you would fasting.

We all know that an occasional detox is good for our bodies.

It cleanses us of toxins and reconditions our bodies so they are more ready to accept good, nourishing food.

This same concept applies to periods of celibacy.

We can cleanse our minds from the toxins of society and ego.

SEE ALSO: How Mystic Yoga Came To America

Society and Sex

Society today is permeated with sex.

Everywhere we look, the newsstands, ads, TV and the movies, we are constantly being bombarded with sexual images.

Sex is a strong motivator—and it sells.

But have we really thought about why this is true?

Of course there is a basic primal instinct involved here, but just how much is instinct and how much is based on our selfish human motives?

That’s the crux of the matter.

Here are a few examples:

• We all have the basic need to feel desirable
• We have been conditioned to want attention from the opposite sex as proof of our desirability
• Because of this, there is power associated with our level of desirability
• Where there is power involved, there will be the need to pit one against the other to prove who is more desirable.
• By pitting one against the other, we turn our basic human desire to reach out and be connected into a competition of who is better—who is more desirable.

This is very basic, and I know there are many more equations to this issue, but let us simply focus on the emotional issues involved.

What I have found is the simple fact that if we put sex in a more open perspective, our hearts and minds can open to one another without a hidden agenda.

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Again, a lot of this has been driven into our psyches by the many ways we are programmed to perceive the world around us.

It can be very difficult to see the truth behind a curtain of illusions.

Our Outlook

Here is a compilation of some of the things we might glimpse if we were to pull back that curtain just a fraction.

The multi-million dollar industry of advertising (everything from colas to cars) is based on feeding our fears of inadequacy, pitting us one against the other in an attempt to sell us something we didn’t know we needed until they pointed out that it will make us more attractive, more desirable, or more powerful.

And what better way to make this hit home than by bringing sex (a primal need) into the equation.

This may seem a bit cynical, but we would be naive to think that all the exposure to these toxins, day after day, year after year, have no bearing on our outlook and how we perceive the world around us.

In a perfect world we would turn off the TVs and radios, stop buying newspapers and magazines, or live a life as removed from them as possible.

This would be one way to begin a conditioned fast in our brains.

However, this would be somewhat impossible for most of to do.

Get to Know Yourself

So where does celibacy fit in to all this?

While we may not be able to stop the flow of media and input to our brains, we can work on our response to it.

Just as in our fasting from foods, we can remove some of the built up toxins in our psyche, renew our minds, and then be ready to connect in a healthier way.

If you are in a relationship, this can be challenging, but with support from your partner it can be done.

If you are single, this is the perfect time to experiment with this ancient and powerful concept.

Instead of always searching for that someone to meet your needs and make you happy, try concentrating on yourself—just you.

Get to know yourself; really know yourself.

What makes you happy? What makes you sad?

Realign yourself with what’s really important to you, your dreams and your happiness.

While practicing celibacy over the years I found some powerful truths hidden underneath many years of conditioning.

Here are 3 of the most powerful:

1. I found that I am much more than just someone who needs someone else to have a relationship with. I am complete and whole all by myself. A good relationship only adds to my life, but it is not mandatory.
2. By taking the focus off sex and relationships, I slowly found myself feeling a connection to others on a much deeper level than I had before. Underneath all our human desires there is a much deeper one. It is a feeling of oneness and connection to all sentient beings. When this deep and powerful connection is felt in the heart and the mind, it can be life changing.
3. I also found that I love solitude. I need alone time to focus on what is important to me. This helps me tremendously with my work and volunteering. There are many times when I just want to spend quite time walking in the woods alone, meditating, reading or gardening. It takes an understanding partner to give us the room we require to grow.

By following a practice of celibacy it has helped remove a lot of the toxic behaviors, stresses and conditioned responses from my life.

I now know that when I choose to be with someone or begin a relationship, I am doing it for reasons that are good for me, and them, and not just because of deeply perceived beliefs and conditioned emotional responses.