Muddy Waters

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to embrace the suck. I suppose a less in your face way to put it would be to get comfortable in the uncomfortable.

When the going gets tough, it is easy to just get going. Ignore it. Shove it down. Move on. Shift away from those hard times and pretend that things are fine. Everything… is… fine.

Fake smile.

Because if things are not fine, there is a problem- and problems need to be fixed- and sometimes you just can’t fix things. If it is a problem that cannot be fixed, then it is easier to ignore said problem and pretend it does not exist. Because it will always be a problem and you will never know how to fix it. When in fact it is not even your problem to begin with.

It makes perfect sense.

I had this shift for me yesterday. I had this internal understanding that it really is beyond my control, this problem. I have exhausted my resources trying to fix things, and I realized- it is not for me to fix. I sat with it all. And. It. Sucked.- but it was also beautiful at the same time once I got through the sucky acceptance that this is my circus, but those are not my monkeys. I felt a sense of serenity, if you will, after years of shoving down this “mud,” and walking through these trenches.

My first thought this morning when I woke up was remembering a meditation I did yesterday and returning to the mudra (movement) that went along with it- The lotus.

I love the symbolism the lotus flower has with the process of tough times. It resonated with me to the core of who I am, and I do not know how I am just now learning that a flower can ONLY grow through mud! I have never been a green thumb, but this past year I learned of this amazing, beautiful flower. And, I fell in love with it.

Be like the lotus. Grow through the mud. It’s really beautiful once you hit the sunshine.

Seeded deeply in the soiled soot,

Murky, muddy, sticky place-

Growing slowly through turmoil, but-

Pressing upward, at slow pace.

The timing.

Gritted in the dust and dirt, it’s rooted

Strong, this tiny stem,

Searching onward, persisting, resisting still-

Digging deep- some place within.

The process.

The cloudy, darkened waters prove

The beauty that will come-

The petals, once they bloom- you’ll see

Why everything was done.

The lotus.


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