Great Expectations And How They Are Ruining You…

Great Expectations And How They Are Ruining You

Expectations ruin our ability to see things clearly.

Imagine you entered a small magical store in which you can take all the things you’ve ever wanted to buy. You look around and notice on the shelves miniature bags all the same sizes only titled differently. You glance around and notice few very surprisingly familiar titles on those bags such as love, friendship, money, confidence, peace, courage, wisdom, and a few others. The only trick is you only get to choose one and you got to choose fast.

So you stand there, excited and terrified, overthinking all you ever needed but was somehow always out of your reach. And you think and think and while you are about to make the choice, time runs out and the store disappears.

(Un)luckily for us, there are no such stores. However, the choice you were asked to make has more connection to real life than to magic. There is so much noise and restlessness, so many desires, resolutions, so many made lists of what to do, who to be, what to have, who to marry and on and on. So many expectations, based on movies, books, magazines, experiences of others and their stories. We end up needing and wanting what we never needed or wanted.

I am not an expert, and really no one is when it comes to the happiness of others, nevertheless, I would like to remind you of a few very important insights.

SEE ALSO: The 5 Basics Of Self-love

Stop running and start observing

Do you remember when you were a child and you were genuinely interested in exploring your surroundings, trees, people, why your friend is crying, or if he wants to play?

It was a long time ago but sometimes, it feels like we were never those free creatures as we never got to know how privileged that moment was. We have been told we should be running towards something, perhaps career, marriage, children, money, whatever that it is and it gets so tiring to gallop all the time, not even asking yourself if that is the right direction, if those are really people you want to surround yourself with.

How devastating it would be to wake up one day and realize all the steps you made and all the mountains you climbed were for someone else and you no longer remember who you were at the beginning. Therefore, before you start the run make sure it is the one you want to race in and you are doing it for yourself.

Others do not matter in this race

Don’t get me wrong. Other people do matter but not in this race. This race is you against yourself.

I often think of myself as I used to be one person as a child, another at school, then High School, another at University and now I am getting more who I was before all the drama of others happened to me. I am a person who deeply gets involved with others, especially when feeling injustice or hurt that wraps you. At the same time, when you are that much involved you no longer feel your own voice. We get so involved in what others think of us, how they perceive us, whether they like us or not and why. But at the end of the day, they genuinely do not think of you but themselves. This is the truth we often forget. When you go to sleep and torture yourself why you said that, didn’t say, did or didn’t do, remember that you are your own hardest judge.

Give yourself a break as you will get better, smarter, stronger just because you care that much. It’s a pity and absurd not to care that much about yourself when this is the only truth you can rely on: you, your consciousness, your dreams, and actions.

Time will eventually run out anyway

A child does not accept death as he/she is too alive to be concerned with such a paralyzing thought. For so long, I believed my grandma will be with me forever. I even believed that she was immortal as an adult, and we all know how such stories have to end. However, the fact that time will run out eventually does not mean we are sentenced to meaningless things.

Why do anything if it won’t matter?

We do not know why do we do some things; why writers write, painters paint, teachers teach, and so on. We just know what we need to. Otherwise, it seems our souls become just our bodies and both die together. I may die with my dreams and hopes and I would rather leave this life as an empty shell, as nothing is more terrifying than a life not lived.

Take a breath as you already know the answer

Why did the magical store disappear before we got to choose? Because the one who entered didn’t know what one thing he or she was looking. It is that simple and that hard.

It doesn’t mean we cannot have other things as well. We will probably have them but very often we must have our priorities set first, and this is not simple. There is a trend nowadays to be messy, lost, unstable; to experiment and take all roads possible, be so many people. But at the end of the day we have to know what we cannot compromise, and that one thing is the goal. It is what you cannot and do not want to be without, what you know you have to finish before time runs out.

Finally, go back to the beginning. I believe I would choose peace from the magical store as it has the tendency to constantly run away from me. Luckily, I am finding more and more ways (without magic) to keep it. Hopefully, my thoughts may resonate with you and help you remember when yearning for signs and acknowledgments that you are on right path.

So, what would you choose from the store?


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Nina Sekulovic

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Journalist / Communicologist from Montenegro, passionate about writing, painting and travelling. Interested in topics such as human rights, culture, education,…

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