Why Do Resolutions Fail?
I’m tempted every year at this time to go on a rant about “New Year’s Resolutions”, and this year I think it’s time to burst the bubble of control many of us believe we have that would make us believe we can “keep” those resolutions made. One of my beloved mentors was ranting the other day about “Vision Boards”. She noticed that every year the boards were pretty much the same–the pictures of the lavish mansion, the perfect body, the epic love affair, the wedding ring… And after eight years, none of her “visions” for the future had come true.
She believes the reason for this is that envisioning a “goal” or a desire is not about the simple exercise of the imagination. It’s, instead, all about ENERGY. So now, my friend creates an “Energy Board” to remind her of that fact.
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All things are possible in this universe. ALL things are possible. This is first premise that must be embraced before any “visioning” can become a reality. We so often, right off the bat, disallow certain possibilities because we’ve chosen to make it so. “I’m never going to have a lot of money.” “I’m always going to be fat.” “I’m never going to find that perfect love”, etc. etc. Now, all these conclusions are underlying all the desires to the contrary. So when you make a vision board, you immediately collide with the reality of your conclusions. And the visioning becomes wistful daydreaming that overlays what you know to be true about life–these things are just not possible.
These “realities” that you know to be true, are actually arbitrary choices that have been made and reinforced through experience. These “realities” become a point of view about life, and limit what is possible for you, this Infinite Being.
Control and choice
First, it’s not about “control”. There is no such thing as “controlling your life”. We believe we have control because we can make some predictions about what is going to happen based on specific actions we take: I’m controlling my life by getting up every day at 7AM, doing my workout, then driving to work. I’m in control. This is an illusion. What is happening here is that you are simply following along a certain pattern of energy that you chose in the past.
This is an important distinction. You choose certain energy that then expresses itself as your life. You are not “controlling” anything. You are choosing energies, and what unfolds as a result of those choices is what you think you are controlling.
In a sense, choice could be considered control, but if anything it’s the ONLY control you have, and it completely eclipses any abilities you may think you have to “make things happen.” This is why there is “failure”. Failure is a conflict one has with the energies they’ve chosen. I failed to be a success at my job because what it would take to succeed at that job goes against all the choices I’ve made to the contrary. The beautiful thing about this conundrum is that you have a choice. You can choose your way out of a bad situation, bad feelings, a bad life. The key is to continue to choose what it is you truly desire, and this requires honest assessments. What makes me feel really light, excited, inspired, and lifted up? Well, go that way!
“Following The Energy” is an ancient operating mode of shamans. They choose the desired energy they want to have in their life and then follow it through time by continuing to choose it and doing actions that resonate with that energy. This is powerful because it breaks open newer and greater possibilities that they continue to choose and act within that energy.
Rather than make “resolutions”, choose an energy you would really like to have and feel in your life, and then as the possibilities and opportunities present themselves, simply re-choose and act. It’s the truest way to actualize any desire, and will ensure you have a fabulous time ahead!
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