How To Obtain True Happiness From Within

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“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” – Veronica Shoffstall

Being happy does not come easy for everyone. Some people may be going through extremely difficult times while others are trying to overcome the obstacles life throws at them. Some people may just be in a place where they don’t feel truly happy and don’t understand why. I was one of those people at one point.

If you looked at me from the outside, you wouldn’t have any idea of my internal struggles, which is probably the case for most people. We all have our own battles to face and one of my biggest struggles was understanding what happiness truly was.

SEE ALSO: What Is The Thousand-Petaled Lotus?

Happiness in the Wrong Places

So many of us look for happiness in the wrong places, and I myself, have been guilty of this too. We look for it in material things, relationships or money. The reality is, none of those things can actually bring us true happiness. Relationships, material possessions and money are all great things to have. But what if these things disappeared in an instant? Would you still feel happy?

From my own personal experience, I can say that these can only bring a temporary feeling of happiness. You may buy something new today, but eventually, something newer comes along the way, so you forget about the first thing you bought. Or maybe you finally get that raise at work, but as the months pass, the additional dollars are no longer enough to satisfy you. You might get involved in an amazing relationship, but will that feeling of bliss still be there when you hit the bumps in the road?

I struggled with this for quite some time in my early twenties. I expected everyone and everything to bring me happiness. I expected the amount of money I made, the great clothes I wore or the nice items I had with me to make me happy. It’s easy to use the things and people around you to get your source of happiness.

But during my own strong moments of unhappiness, I blamed the same things that once made me feel the opposite. First, it was my boyfriend. Then I blamed my job, my living situation, literally everything and everyone except myself. After all, it’s not so easy to look in the mirror and realize that you’re human and full of flaws, that maybe the person responsible for the unhappiness is actually you.

I constantly tried to change many things in my life just so I can be happy again. I would buy more material things, give myself more access to the “easy” things. But at the end of the day, there was a void inside me that I just couldn’t fill.

Finding Happiness From Within

It finally came to a point when I realized that what I have been doing wasn’t working. I thought that maybe it was time to reflect and figure out and what I could change within myself just so I can feel the way I did before. So, I did just that.

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I began to focus and take care of myself more. I began eating healthier and working out consistently. I started to make a list of goals I’d like to achieve and a bucket list of activities I’d like to experience. My focus shifted from material things onto items that would give me memories that would last a lifetime. Then I began looking closer at myself and I could see every flaw I had. In doing so, I realized that all these imperfections are not a cause for despair as we all have them. I then embarked on a journey to make changes over the flaws that I had control over.

I was looking closer at myself and I could see all my flaws. In doing so, I realized that there should be no shame in your flaws because we all have them. So, I began to change the internal flaws I had control over.

One of the things I’ve always disliked about myself is how I never actually follow through doing something I want to. So I decided to make a conscious effort to change that. I’ve always wanted to go and travel, so instead of spending extra money on material things, I began to save up for my travel fund. I encouraged myself to try new things and become more open to the different possibilities out there. As a result, I discovered hobbies that I never knew I would enjoy.

I was also guilty of comparing myself to others and I think this happens more when in a state of unhappiness. It’s so easy to look at another person’s seemingly perfect life and get caught up in it, and compare it to your own. But the truth is, it doesn’t really matter what others are doing. That’s their own path in life. Would you want to go on the same path? I think not! You’d want to be on one that is perfect for you. Another decision I made was to treat others how I wanted to be treated, regardless of whether they were treating me with kindness or not. I also began shifting my mindset towards the more positive rather than negative side of things. The glass is now half-full, rather than half-empty.

The Path Less Traveled

The journey to finding happiness from within is not the easiest one to take. Examining your imperfections and weaknesses and making a conscious effort to try and change them for the better is no ordinary feat. It would be so much simpler to just let life pass you by and write off your emotions. But in the end, doing so won’t help you be in tune with who you truly are and what you want out of life.

One source of unhappiness is just that, and I believe was the reason why I was feeling that way at the time. But now things are different as I’ve come more into terms with who I really am. I know now that material possessions are relationships can add so much value to my life. But that doesn’t mean that I should rely on my fiancé or work or the amount of money in my bank account or other things that can be gone in an instant for my happiness.

This journey takes a lot of courage and it’s one that might last a whole lifetime. It takes a brave soul to dare to try new things and bring yourself to places that you’ve never thought you’d be in. I strongly believe that you get to learn more about who you are and grow as a person when you’re outside of your comfort zone. You will be amazed at what you accomplish as long as you take that first brave step. And as we are constantly growing, learning and changing, we have to be open and receptive to these changes in order to be fulfilled and happy.  This can help us go through life, despite the many ups and downs since we know that we can manage them with a clearer, more confident and courageous mindset.

Being on this path is not just a one-time decision, but a lifestyle we have to adopt. It takes a lot of effort and work, but the results are worth it in the end. I urge you to join me in this path of self-discovery. I urge you to try something different today. I urge you to take initiative and change something about yourself that you aren’t happy with. I urge you to be open-minded and receptive today, because that is truly the first step in the journey of finding happiness within.

When you find happiness within, it is so much easier to find happiness everywhere else.

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