Getting Back To Who You Are And Who You Are Meant To Be
Shakespeare said “to thine own self be true” but what does belonging to yourself really mean in this day and age where the comparison game is at an all-time high? I started thinking of the term transformative belonging and the idea of transformations as a way to get back to the truest sense of our alignment. When we are ready to make a change – a transformation – we are ready to find that sense of inner knowing and inner peace. Transformation is ultimately a composting of who we are with who we want to be. This patchwork, this mosaic makes up the fabric of our lives. I explore this idea in my first ever self-published book “The Language of Transformation” and the entire process of writing this book was an exercise in exploring my own awakening and sense of self-belonging.
I wrote the book in a week, including obtaining stories from my ‘soul tribe’, soul sisters and brothers, family members and friends who agreed to share their powerful stories for the greater good of the book. To give others the opportunity to learn and grow from their experiences and to understand that they are not alone on this sacred journey to wholeness.
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Sense of Belonging
My question today is how to find your own belonging and sense of voice in a world that encourages sameness. I heard the idea the other day that sameness equals safety and security and many people operate under that assumption. The problem with being the same is it is not fulfilling. We were born to be who we are and to shine brightly–not to dim our lights to blend in with others. Why does it take so much courage to be who we are? We are inundated with context and subjectivity about who we should be. Limiting beliefs and family values. Social media and media in general. Old stories, patterns, traumas, and wounds. These factors contribute to our sense of self. How can we transcend, transform, and awaken to our truth? I am going to break it down in the most basic way. I have learned that simple isn’t always easy, but keeping it simple makes it digestible.
Keep it Real
Be real about who you are. What you feel. Your triggers. Your passions. Some suggestions for doing this is stream-of-consciousness writing. Just put it all out there on a blank Google Doc or on the pages of your journal. Be honest with yourself first. And then open up to your inner tribe. Your support groups. Your therapist. Whoever will listen. Be vulnerable and keep it real. Name it to tame it; don’t shame it! Whatever “it” is, it is better if you allow yourself to feel it and see it and identify it. Feelings buried alive never die, and as Rumi suggests in his poem “The Guest House”, all our feelings deserve a seat at the table. So give those feelings a seat and see what they have to teach you. That is the first step to your transformative belonging.
Clear the Stuff
Once you identify what you need and who you are, start to clear out the gunk. Old patterns. Old habits. Limiting beliefs. Old wounds. Old stories. All the should’s and obligations. Physical clutter. Mental clutter. There are a variety of ways to do this and clearing isn’t a one size fits all equation. And what may work on a given day may not work on another. So experiment. Have fun with the process. Work with therapists and energy healers. Coaches and support groups. Try Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or the Hawaiian Forgiveness Prayer Ho oponno pono. Take yourself on a self-healing date or do it with like-minded seekers. Be open-minded to new ways of clearing and healing and be flexible and gentle with yourself through this process.
Do the Things
After you have identified your truth and cleared your limitations, take guided and inspired action on the things that are calling to you. Follow your curiosity. Find your bliss. Start small and build momentum in your heart and then in your life. When you do the things from a place of inspiration instead of obligation, you will be amazed by the results that you will yield.
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