5 Tools To Help You Embrace Your Unique Brand Of Awesome
I’m going to convince you in the next 1500 words that even though everything’s already been done, written, and spoken about before, the fact that it hasn’t been done, written or spoken about by you should inspire you to get off your butt and do it! There are a few inner critic messages I’ve heard among the chaotic mess of noise in my head that stand out more than others. This is one of them: It’s already been done, so who are you to write about it? On the bad days, the voice continues with stuff like, what’s wrong, can’t you come up with something more original? And, this is just going to sound stupid (unprofessional, inappropriate—pick your poisonous thought).
This message has some additional sidekick messages that go with it including, you don’t know enough to write about this. You’re not good enough, so just stick to what you know. Even after a graduate degree, two decades of experience and a list of continuing education and training in holistic healing that goes on for two pages, this message has the guts to try to convince me I’m not good enough to help people. Seriously?
Nodding your head? You’re smart enough to know you shouldn’t be listening to those messages at this point in your life and career however the voice persists and the paralysis is real. How are you going to break up the unhelpful habit of listening to it and get on with your day of changing the world? Think something better. Yes, it’s that simple, sort of.
I’ve learned some powerful awareness and mindset tools that’ll bust up the patterns, create a more healthy practice and ease the struggle. “What if it were easy?” I hear from my healing guru, John F. Barnes. Yes John, what if? And I’ve also asked some amazing professionals to chime in to help us bust up this habit we have of letting those voices keep us from doing our amazing work in the world.
Here are 5 tools for taking action and writing or doing the thing, even though the voice is trying to convince you that you’re not good enough:
1. Don’t Believe Everything You Think
Use awareness to watch your thoughts. Separate from them a bit. Take a giant step back and really take a moment to recognize the voice, and the unhelpful pattern. As soon as you make some space by observing it with some curiosity, and maybe a bit of a sense of humor, you can do something about it. With awareness, you get a choice! Without it, you’ll just react from fear. Many of our thoughts are habitual, conditioned, unhelpful and based on the past. Question all of them and be curious. Which ones serve the big mission you have? Which ones sabotage it? You might try journaling about this for some extra clarity.
2. Don’t Compare
Comparison is poison. Just like you’re smart enough not to eat Tide Pods, you know you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to anyone because all that does is perpetuate the thoughts. You were born a unique expression of the soul, with unique experiences that nobody else has been through. Even if someone is writing the exact same article topic as you, they can’t write from the lens of your experiences. This is why sharing our stories is so important.
Chrisa T.S., a hypnotherapist and transformation coach has a great point about comparison:
“I remember dealing with that inner critic voice that says – “this has already been done before” when I launched my coaching & hypnosis business. There are so many life coaches and hypnotherapists out there, what can I do that they can’t? I thought. Then, as I many times do, I went for a walk around the block.
What was special about that walk was the fact that I somehow started observing the restaurants around me. On a half a mile long street I counted 4 different Italian restaurants. I have been a customer in all of them and I realized I liked all four for different reasons, but I absolutely love that one that hits all my “yes boxes” when it comes to Italian cuisine. Then it dawned on me: that’s a perfect analogy for anyone that says: “this has already been done before!”
What if that Italian restaurant owner had listened to that inner voice saying “Oh there are so many Italian restaurants, everything you want to do has already been done before” and hadn’t opened that restaurant? I (and many other people along with me) had fallen in love with that specific place and that restaurant owner wouldn’t have experienced the success he has.
This realization helped me silence that inner-critic voice and I found ways to be authentic and unique so I can attract the right people to my “restaurant.” When it comes to the thought “It has been done before” think of the Italian restaurant metaphor!
Chrisa T.S., Transformation Coach at The Chrisa Group
3. Feed the Joy, not the Fear
Here’s what my friend and TEDx speaker Julie Reisler has to say about this:
“I’m confronted by my little fearful inner critic voice often. She likes to say stuff like, ‘Who the f’ do you think you are to succeed?’ Here’s the thing, you’ve got to ask yourself where your thoughts and inner voice is coming from. In this case, it’s directly based in fear or a lack consciousness, i.e. believing there isn’t enough for us all to succeed and thrive.
I know without a doubt that our universe is naturally abundant and designed to affirm and fulfill any and all desires we have, especially around making an impact and being of service. This kind of thinking comes from an abundance mindset. The question to ask yourself is: Am I nourishing the lack or the abundance thought?
We always have a choice, and if you look back at times where opportunities have rolled in, or you have been successful with ease (however you define success), or felt in alignment with your greater purpose, I can assure you that you were coming from a place of abundant thinking. The inner critic is created out of fear and protection to keep you playing small.
There is room for each and every one of us to serve and be successful. I implore you to hug your inner critic tight the next time you hear her whisper words of fear and lack and remind her that you are appreciative of her trying to keep you safe but that you are ready to step into your light and that she is graciously not needed at this time. The world is calling for you, and needs you now to fully express your gifts and purpose.”
Julie Reisler, Author, TEDx Speaker, Podcast Host, Life Designer®
When you feed the joy or abundance thoughts you can think of it like this – your energy will flow to that intention. And because thoughts create things, you’ll be creating more joy and abundance!
This is an awareness technique to help you through the feeling of doubt, fear or shame that occurs when the voice starts. The doubt or fear is just a physical feeling. If you can breathe, clear your mind and come into your body, you’ll anchor yourself in the feeling, not what you think the feeling means. And from that place, you can think a better thought and take a better action. Body awareness is one of the keys to being able to choose something better.
5. Align with Your Why
It’s crucial to come back to your big why every time doubt seeps in. Your why needs to be big enough to bash this voice. If it’s not, guess who’ll win? So what’s your why? Spend some time journaling about this and getting some coaching on it if you need to. It’ll be worth the time and effort because when your why is big and bold and purposeful, the puny voice that tries to tell you that you’re not enough will be squashed by the indomitable energy of your why.
My friend Georgia London had this to say about your why:
“There are a gazillion people in the world who can write. Sometimes, we all will fall into the trap of why should I write, when everything has already been written by those gazillion writers. This thought comes from a place of unknowing, resistance or feeling a lack of worth.”
“When I have thoughts of self-doubt, I look up above my desk to see this framed quote:
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” -Mark Twain
When we know the “Why” we were born, nothing can stop us. We are all unique, blessed beings here to experience life in our own way. Our own words and worlds are filtered through our own unique experiences, our body, our emotions, and our beliefs. Only we can write what our soul wants and needs to write.”
Georgia London, Chief Energy Officer, Be Boldly Brilliant Breakthroughs
Understand that in every step above, it’s the awareness that matters. Awareness is the key and tool to use every single time. It’s what will give you a choice, help you with thoughts, beliefs, and actions that will serve you instead of paralyzing you. Remember, you were born, so you’re worthy. Your message matters! And it will heal the world if you’re brave enough to share it!
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