How The ‘Worthiness Factor’ Plays Into Our Lives

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Shame. Resentment. Repressed anger. Feeling as though you cannot live up to your fullest potential. Feeling unseen, but too fearful of letting the world see you. Feeling resentment about that fact. Jealousy. Feelings of un-forgiveness. A sadness you can’t shake. Physical illness often idiopathic by nature (not diagnosable), but can be anything. Mental illness.

And the list goes on.

These are all manifestations of a deeper-rooted and often overlooked aspect of our existence – self-worth. Or more accurately, low self-worth. I woke up this morning with the words the worthiness factor in my head so I decided to Google it and came across several influencers who speak upon this topic. My search ended there.

I want to be clear that I do not consider myself an influencer. I was born on the cusp of being defined as Gen X and was mostly raised around this generation, but I am technically a millennial. I only recently learned what an influencer was and sometimes I feel so far behind when it comes to what’s hip that I am often left feeling like a should be living in a nursing home (a little humor goes a long way).

But getting back to the topic at hand – the worthiness factor and the key ingredient missing from the recipe of so many people’s lives. This isn’t a holier-than-thou article or one meant to bash our caregivers. I firmly believe that everyone is always doing their best given the tools they have and from a more metaphysical standpoint, I believe that our souls have work here to do on this Earth and that we choose certain situations to work through in our lifetimes.

I also believe that we can easily get trapped in our 3D illusion of separation and human foibles that we can sometimes cut ourselves off from all that awaits us on the other side. No, I’m not talking about the death of the physical body, but the death of certain aspects of our ego, which to the ego can often feel as if we are going to die.

SEE ALSO: How Comparison Kills Joy

Outside validation

I believe that there is a strong connection between disorganized attachments stemming from the wounds we receive when we do not feel wanted by the very people who are supposed to want us the most and low self-worth. An underdeveloped ego often results in codependent relationships and the deeply held belief that we have to earn or perform for love. The thing about it though is that a lot of people do not really know they might be suffering from low self-worth and fewer still who are so cut off from Source that they have completely forgotten who they are or what is possible for them.

When we are in the thick of unworthiness, we look to the outside world to validate us because we never learned how to trust ourselves. Perhaps when we were young our parents would not mirror us or affirm to us that what we were doing was good when we looked to them to confirm what we intuitively felt within. Our soul wants to grow and our brains just want to keep us safe and alive. So if we learn that what is safe is staying quiet or remaining unseen because we fear criticism, we will stay there. If our conscious and subconscious belief is that we are not good enough- we will never aspire to be and do more with our lives.

We might experience bouts of anger or jealousy at other people’s accomplishments. We might criticize the things other people are doing because we feel like we can do it better, but we are too afraid to put ourselves out there so we do to others what others have had done to us. Some people resort to abusing or harming their bodies as a means to escape- whether that be through overindulgence in drugs, alcohol, food, or sex, respectively. They might become risk-takers and sometimes those risks can result in further pain inflicted on the self or others.

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Deeply rooted unworthiness can also present as the overachievers as well. Those people who seemingly do it all and do it all effortlessly or with a smile. Low self-worth can also lead to physical and mental health issues that can often be considered idiopathic (not a diagnosable disorder) or treatable. This has also been referred to as a soul sickness.

Soul sickness

To me, soul-sickness is like locking yourself inside your house while convincing yourself that you cannot escape because this is all there is to life. You believe whole-heartedly that you are forever confined to your house and there is no way out in order for you to run free; meanwhile the wind outside your window and the sun in the sky are beckoning you to come out and play. Your house is the metaphorical ego and all that is going on in nature is your soul begging you to connect.

I’m not a down with the ego kind of teacher as I know it can be helpful to us as humans, but when low-self worth is involved, your ego can convince you that everything is a threat to your existence. Everything.

Which can keep you in a perpetual loop of sadness, anger, resentment, etc. If I had it my way- every single human on planet Earth would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that their human parents were but the vessels to deliver their soul into the world. Each person would know within their very core that self-worth does not come from anyone outside of them, but rather the deepest belief that their worth is without limit because they are extensions of source individualized in their human cloak.

Death of the ego

But gaining self-worth involves the death of certain egoistic beliefs that may have served us at some point in life, which can feel incredibly threatening to an ego that just wants to keep us alive. To me, the journey towards self-worth has felt like the phoenix on the repeat cycle. Parts of me have died a thousand deaths and each time I have been made anew so that I could soar higher.

I believe that this possibility exists for all people and I believe that each one of our souls are practically begging for us to unlock the door to the house so we can grow and evolve the way nature intended. Believe me when I tell you that you are not who you define yourself to be. You are not who your parents told you that you are and you are not your illness or diagnosis.

You are so much more than those stories or what you see in the mirror and you meant for amazing things. Perhaps what has been overlooked is simply your worthiness factor.