5 Effective Techniques To Help Cope With Painful Memories
Regardless of how good your life has been so far, you probably have more than a handful of painful memories. We all do, without exception. We all have experienced traumatic events that have influenced us to an extent, and which prevent us from living out life to the fullest.
For most people, a death of someone close to them can have a lasting impact which never really goes away. Also, things like violence, bullying, accidents, illness, surviving a natural disaster, fleeing from the atrocities of war, and so on, can leave us with long-lasting consequences, or haunt us for the rest of our lives; unless we decide to deal with them in a healthy way.
SEE ALSO: Making Better Choices
Recall and Reconsider a Painful Memory
While there is no doubt that you’ve experienced something awful and therefore have a bad memory of it, perhaps you should view it in a different light. You can’t go back in time and prevent the traumatic event from ever happening, but you can think about how it has changed you for the better. For instance, experiencing financial difficulties early in life has pushed you to work harder. Breaking up with someone you love, but who doesn’t respect you is always painful, but it’s better to rip that band aid off sooner than later.
It’s All in Your Past
Your painful memory reminds you of something in your past, which cannot be changed. On the other hand, you only get a single chance at life. As Hanna Smith, psychology specialist from Aussie writings states: “You get to experience the present only once before it becomes your past. By holding on to those memories, you are preventing yourself from living in the present, while at the same time, you are not changing your past”.
You need to let go of what’s holding you back and focus on today, because today is what matters.
You’ve Gained Valuable Experience
Instead of focusing on a bad memory, try and concentrate on the fact that every single traumatic event you have lived through has been a valuable learning experience at the same time. Perhaps you have learned not to be overly naive, or to trust absolutely everyone. You are here now, and you have lived through it, which means you have grown as a person. That is one of the ways that help you become stronger. Every experience, even a negative one, helps form who you are.
Forgive Yourself and Others
Those which have lived through traumatic experiences often blame themselves, even if there was nothing they could have done to prevent them, or even if they have been victims. Forgiving yourself is crucial if you want to move on and live a normal life. It is equally important to forgive others, as well, and let go of that burden. Also, consider the fact that even though some people have hurt you, they might not have done it on purpose.
Don’t Negate the Existence of Painful Events and Memories
Trying to suppress or negate the events in your past, as well as painful memories is just about the least healthy thing you can do, because you don’t know when they will come back and in what shape. Instead, accept them as a significant part of your past, let go of all the grief, and move on with your life.
Painful memories and events from our past should never be allowed to run our present nor future. If you decide to introduce these 5 helpful techniques into your life, you will be able to live without having to look back in the past.
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