How To Set Energetic Boundaries This Year
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey
The end of the year can bring up mixed emotions as we connect with family members and reflect about the people in our lives or those who aren’t anymore. At the close of each year, I take the time to express gratitude for the people who were really there for me and to recognize the relationships where the energetic spark is fading out. I spent years of my life giving myself in exhausting friendships, where the other person constantly bailed on plans or never showed when I needed them the most. Not all of my friendships were this way. I had people in my life who did show and care but for some reason, I still clung to the flaky ones, out of fear of losing people.
When I learned to establish boundaries around emotionally draining friendships, I created the space for loving relationships to show up in my life and it made all the difference.
Boundaries Establish Behavior that We Expect in Relationships
Letting others overstep our energetic boundaries can come in many forms such as accepting friends and family members constantly putting us down a shame hole, sucking our positive energy or simply not showing up. Maybe you find yourself having difficulty saying no, pleasing people constantly or being addicted to approval from others. When we let others step over our boundaries, we are sending them the message that this is okay and it makes us feel small. You are the only one who can set your boundaries and enforce them. We are not being in service to ourselves or this world when we are operating from a place of feeling small or disempowered. Setting energetic boundaries around relationships helps us establish a self-love vibration for the new year. Set them on a daily basis and people will learn how to adopt. Here’s how to start:
First, write down all the people who you may need to set boundaries with. Write down what those boundaries are. List out the exact situations where you are being called to say no. You can visualize yourself having these conversations. Learning to say no sets the intention to be in your power.
The closest people to us can often overstep our boundaries. However, those around us are not mind readers and don’t always understand how we are feeling. Our vibration is our responsibility and it’s our responsibility to speak up. To be able to open up and be vulnerable with those around us can be very challenging, but how will you feel if you don’t speak this truth?
Choose to Exit Draining Conversations
It can happen anytime, suddenly finding yourself pulled into gossipy conversations with coworkers, friends or even family members. Gossiping and shaming are one of the lowest vibrations and will drain your energy and the other persons. The discomfort of confrontation is probably one of the biggest reasons we accept gossiping. You may even find yourself being the target of another’s harmful words, but you don’t have to give your energy to it. Saying no to these conversations will put you back in your power. Ask that they keep opinions to themselves and if they don’t stop, remove yourself from the conversation.
Cut the Cords
Often we stay in exhausting relationships, tolerating unacceptable behavior for fear of losing people, but the people who want to be in your life will show up. Avoid overcommitting to tiresome friendships and events, by saying no to those who don’t energize or respect you. You can energetically cut the cord by setting the intention that you will say no to those who disrespect your time and visualize that cord between you being cut with a pair of golden scissors. We can create meaningful boundaries and step into our power when we enforce them this year. What energetic boundaries do you need to set in your life today?
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