The Real Reason Why It Takes So Damn Long To Get Anything You Want
Does your life feel like it’s stuck in traffic? You’re never going where you want fast enough. You wonder when exactly you will reach your destination
“When will I finally manifest my goals?”
“Is this ever going to happen?”
When we experience delays and setbacks in life, most people react in a few typical ways. And if you’ve ever had any of the following reactions, congratulations! You’re a human.
Frustrated self-blaming mode
Your ego has the habit to look for excuses to put yourself down. You think to yourself: “I must be doing something wrong”, “I’m not good enough”, “If I had done X Y Z, I would be in a better place”.
Defeated doubting-the-dream mode
When you first started following your dreams, everything felt so right. You thought to yourself, “This is the real deal. This is my heart’s desire.” And then in the middle of this hero’s journey, when things are not happening the way you expected, the mind starts to raise unpleasant questions.
Victimized blaming-others mode
You think to yourself “If [insert other people’s name] had not been undermining me, I could have gotten what I wanted.” Sometimes those “other people” include God and fate. Somehow the Universe just doesn’t like you.
If you’ve ever felt any of the above, it is totally normal and your reaction is justified. However, as Marcel Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” When you’re able to see things from new perspectives, your life may never be the same again. In a recent episode of The School of Intuition, I suggested to my listeners a few alternative perspectives on why we don’t get what we want.
Setbacks are moments when life is reminding you who you really are.
Without the shiny objects of your desires and without your identity being attached to any of your goals, who are you? Can you still be at peace with your existence? Life is trying to teach you how to love and respect yourself, even when you are being a disappointment to your ego. You are a divine miracle, whether you’re healthy or sick, poor or rich, successful or not. And life is trying to drive home that message when things are not going your way. And what if that delay is actually a blessing from life? If you’re getting what you want so easily, you may not have had the wisdom to handle it with ease and grace. And life is waiting for that internal “grounding” to kick in, in order for you to make the most out of your external success.
Delays are life’s way to wear out your ego.
The ego wants to be in control. It wants to feel, “I’m the one making it happen”. But your life has other plans. It issues delays and setbacks to frustrate the ego, until your ego says, “I’m exhausted. I give up!” Because when your ego throws in the towel, that’s when real freedom begins. That’s when you start living in harmony with the “bigger will”, with your true nature. And what if life is trying to exhaust your judgments about how your life should be? Sometimes when we become attached to what we want, we push ourselves into a tight mental space of “should” and “have to”. And life is simply teaching you to become more fluid and open.
Lack of progress is life telling you to trust your inner guidance.
When you desire something from the bottom of your heart, it’s a signpost of your destiny. Your intuition is showing you the direction of your highest evolution. But most of us don’t trust it. We want to see the proof and the positive result before we have “trust” in our own inner knowing. Ironically, that’s the opposite of trust. By not giving you what you want right at this moment, life is trying to teach you to have faith in your intuition and inner guidance, even when you don’t see positive results immediately.
When things don’t go your way, it’s like a training camp for you to have more faith in yourself. For you to realize that even without external positive feedback in the moment, you are still guided, always.
Speaking of training, I have an exercise for you.
- Next time you feel the frustration arising in you that what you want is taking too long to manifest, catch yourself.
- Observe how you feel in your body. For me, whenever that happens, I feel small and my chest contracts.
- Locate the part in you that is feeling impatient and doubtful. Send it love. Don’t try to stop that part of you from feeling what it feels. Just give it love.
- Then say to yourself, “I wonder how life is trying to help me by giving me this delay right now.” Be curious. You may not see the answer right away. But I promise you will, in due time.
The curiosity itself immediately helps neutralize the tight mental space we box ourselves in. When you allow yourself to be open to new perspectives, you will see new perspectives. That’s the exercise for you. Let me know how it goes.
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