To The Mom Failing At Self-Care…


To The Mom Failing At Self-Care

For many mothers of small children, self-care can be another failed task on the to-do list. In the demanding phase of new motherhood, a woman can find herself void of the time, energy, or desire for individual self-care. Mothers are bombarded with a fix-all message of self-care, but carving out time alone can be challenging. If she does make time for self-care, a new mom can easily find that care of the surface layer only satiates her temporarily, and she is always feeling like she needs a refill.

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Try Soul Care

If a new mother feels she is failing at self-care, she can instead try care of the soul. Soul care begins with making simple, gentle efforts to raise vibrational frequency. Vibes are not mumbo-jumbo. Vibration is everything. Albert Einstein told us, “Everything is energy. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

In the most basic terms, those who live in the heart have a high vibration, and those who live more in the mind and body vibrate at a lower frequency. Raising vibrational frequency is not about positive affirmations or convincing oneself of happiness; raising vibrational frequency is a result of nurturing the unique spirit of the individual. Raising vibrational frequency can occur with basic effort, no planning, minimal or no cost, and does not require a mother to separate herself from her baby. A new mother can nurture her spirit while she nurtures her baby in simple, realistic ways:

  • Light a candle
  • Play inspiring music
  • Take a warm bath
  • Dance
  • Bring fresh flowers or plants into the home
  • Slow down and savor
  • Meditate
  • Breathe
  • Sunshine, fresh air, water, and nature

Time to Re-Calibrate

New motherhood is a time when a woman is re-calibrating her entire concept of reality. Any effort she can make to raise her vibration will help her connect to her own unique spirit, thus aiding her in navigating her new beginning as a mother. In time, as a new mom feels she wants to create space for a deeper level of soul care she will have a better connection to spirit and can honestly contemplate:

  • What makes my heart sing?
  • What immerses me completely?
  • What activity makes me completely lose my ‘self’ in it?
  • What lifts my spirit?
  • When do I feel confident?
  • When do I feel inspired?

The answer will be different for everyone. For some it is art; for others, it’s an adventure. Whatever the answer, know that these activities are not self-care; these are assignments are soul care. These assignments are individual expressions of the soul where time stands still, and she is simply in flow doing the thing that makes her feel most alive. Maybe she cannot sit to paint on an easel for hours, but perhaps she flips through an art book or visits an exhibit. Maybe she will not go on a wild adventure, but perhaps she plans a weekend away or reads up on travel magazines.

Rather than focusing on self-care, a woman can easily begin to incorporate soul care into her new life as a mother immediately. She may even find that soul care fills her in a way that self-care cannot, awakening her heart and spirit to the seat of love, the highest necessity of motherhood.

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Kelly Van Zandt

Kelly Van Zandt is a NYC mother of two and postpartum doula committed to the support of mothers. In her…

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