Mindfulness Is The New Sexy…

Mindfulness Is The New Sexy

“Seek not to love, but seek to remove all barriers within oneself which prevent against love.” – Rumi

If brown is the new black and 40 is the new 30, then mindfulness is definitely the new sexy. I know, we are focusing on our chakras and our alignment in downward dog and just when the pineal gland starts to decalcify, someone sidelines us with this whole new benefit: ‘Mindfulness is sexy.’

By regularly practicing a form of meditation or mindfulness, we start to transform more than our own experience of consciousness – we make ourselves more suitable partners as well. Science is backing up this one too and according to two recent studies from the National Center for Biotechnical Information, mindfulness does, in fact, predict relationship satisfaction in long-term couples.

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Mindfulness in Relationships

Individuals who do the hard work of bringing their consciousness into clarity ultimately become better partners, lovers, parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends. The ‘Why’ behind this is not some esoteric magic but it is a very applicable and practical truth; when we develop a better relationship with our bodies, when we slow it down and embrace the pause between feeling and action, we can aspire to make better choices how we respond to others.

Invariably, there will be times when we and our beloved are ironing out a difference, for example, when disagreeing on the color to paint the walls in the living room. A mindful partner knows when they are becoming anxious and irritated and they pause to consider how their feelings may impact the direction of the conversation and then choose to embody connective and compassionate conversations. Compassionate communication always pulls us in the direction to understand our partner’s viewpoint. It is when we take the time to understand our partner that we are really embodying the meaning of love. It is by the process of moving closer to each other, by being aware of ourselves and overcoming our internal hurdles, that we inch closer towards closeness and proceed to master the skill of relatedness.

Mindfulness Nourishes Love

Keep in mind, we unite in our human nature, which can be forgetful, fallible, and at times oppositional. Our healthy and normal tendency toward anger and irritation can be a real ally when we take the time to mindfully notice and then soothe our animal impulses of thunder and aggression.

The important takeaway point is that practitioners of meditation and mindfulness enrich not only their emotional balance, calm, and well-being, but also their relationships to others. Being mindful in love aids us in fostering warmth, understanding, and connection, and there is nothing that is sexier than someone who has the capacity for authentic and human emotional mutuality. This becomes the deep kind of love, passion of spirit – mindfully we become curious and closer to each other’s minds, bodies, and spirits.


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Stephanie Wijkstrom, MS, LPC, NBCC Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh

Stephanie Wijkstrom, MS, LPC, NBCC is a psychotherapist and couples counselor in Pittsburgh PA. Stephanie believes in the philosophy of…

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