Life Allowance: 6 Principles For Living Abundantly…


Life Allowance: 6 Principles For Living Abundantly



It can be difficult to find the right balance between action and allowance. As a byproduct of living in a culture that values producing and doing, it also undervalues receptivity and patience. Many of us have overdeveloped the side of ourselves that is action-oriented, creating patterns of stress, fear of not doing enough, and a constant stream of activity in our lives.

Not only does this keep us from being fully present in the moment, but it also gives lifeless space to happen and less room to unfold. Having an open, spacious, and spiritual relationship with life means learning to trust, slow down, and allow good things to happen instead of always trying to make good things happen. Here are six principles to help examine our relationship with activity and look at ways to create more receptivity in our lives.

SEE ALSO: Reconnect With Love And Laugh Like The Buddha

Learn to Live at the Pace of Love

“What would it look like to live at the pace of love?” My mentor asked me this question a few years back, and I couldn’t even begin to fathom the answer, as I had packed my life so full I had inadequate room for my introvert and intuitive need set. My nervous system was perpetually fried, my brain craved space and silence, and my soul thirsted for nourishment. It is difficult to change patterns in our lives, but each of us has an essence and a way of being in the world. Living at a more loving pace means honoring that essence, knowing who we are and respecting our needs, even if they run counterculture. For many of us, this means slowing our pace, reevaluating our motivations behind what we fill our life with, and learning to be in a moment instead of do every moment.

Rethink the Construct of Time

In a society where we are taught what it means to punch the clock from an early age, we have developed a belief that time is a quantity and a scarcity. We focus on having a lack of time, instead of looking at time as an abundant resource. Changing our relationship with time means changing the way we view the construct of time and our beliefs about time.

The universe will not withhold the good things that are meant for each of us on our soul path, and so we don’t have to rush to make those things happen, we just have to stay open and keep showing up. Can you imagine the shift that would come if time became an ally who gently guided us with intelligence and wisdom and its own sense of perfect timing? What if instead of focusing on not having enough time, we started each day with the thought: I will have all the time I need today?

Release Expectations of Self

Sometimes we get in our own way with self-imposed expectations. There’s so much fear surrounding the release of identity and ego, effort and results. It’s hard to let go of our notion of what we “should” be doing and accomplishing. And yet, I have found that when we try and make things happen by force, we go against our own flow and end up feeling like we’re trying to ride a bicycle up a steep and rocky hill.



There is a right timing for everything, and when something is right things have a tendency to simply fall into place. Trusting life’s process doesn’t mean letting go of our dreams, goals, and visions for self, but it does mean releasing urgency and “I have to” and our own timetable; trusting that life will allow those visions to unfold when the time is right. It is the difference between trying to bike up that steep hill or biking on a smooth, flat path. We are the ones who still need to move the pedals, but there is a beautiful ease and synchronicity to it.

Let Go of how Things Should Look

When we have a certain way we think something should come to pass, we automatically put conditions and restraints on life. We also give up a piece of our personal power, because we attach expectation to outcome, which inevitably creates a rollercoaster effect of feeling good when things go the way we think they should and feeling bad when they don’t go as we wished.

While disappointment and being let down are natural parts of the human experience, and sometimes it’s impossible not to have expectations, staying aware of our own sense of expectation and relinquishing it when we can creates a lot more space in our lives. It also allows us a deeper, more grounded sense of inner peace, which transcends circumstance.

Stop Trying so Hard

If it’s in your heart, if it brings you joy, if it makes your soul sing, then, by all means, do it. But if what drives you is fear of not being enough, fear of not being relevant, fear of not being seen, fear of letting others down, fear of not meeting somebody else’s expectation, then maybe it’s okay to take a step back and reevaluate. Maybe it’s okay to reflect on your motivations. Maybe it’s okay to consider whether it takes from you or gives to you. Maybe it’s okay to take a break from doing so much. Maybe it’s okay to give yourself permission to stop trying so hard, breathe in something bigger than just yourself, and trust life to carry you.

Give Life Space to Happen

Nature is a beautiful teacher of this principle as each season has a rhythm and timing all its own, which cannot be forced. So it is with us, and when we have desires of the heart and intentions we would like to manifest, we need to give life a little space to work its magic when the season is right. So often we want the answers and we want the manifestation right now, and our own impatience causes us to try and produce results when it often just isn’t the right season.

It can be scary and achingly vulnerable to spiritually trust that if we simply show up, stay open, and meet each day the best we know how that life will bring us what we need to actualize the desires of our heart. And yet that kind of trust is exactly what allows us to co-create with life; we show up and do our part and we trust life to do it’s part. Trusting that whatever alchemy occurs will grow into whatever creation it’s meant to be.

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BethAnne Kapansky Wright, Psy.D.

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BethAnne Kapansky Wright, Psy.D. is a psychologist, intuitive healer, writer and artist living on the magical island of Kauai. She…

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