3 Ways I Learned To Let Go Of The Ego
I used to feel so distant, always hearing this voice louder than the moment. The sensation was so surreal, as I act in ways my soul does not feel. There would be these feelings and thoughts lying deep within, never making it out; the way I felt about a person, the emotions I wanted to express. The thoughts I had on conversations, topics or ideas would stay deeply rooted within my mind. Shrouded in fear, I felt as though I was not worthy enough, brave enough or smart enough. I was both being controlled and the controller, I was stuck in the ego.
What is the Ego?
I used to believe my ego was there to protect me, give me a sense of importance and superiority. I thought It would help me advance in this world, give me the confidence I had been missing and sorely needed. I slipped into a world of self-absorption, unable to see the deeper beauty and worth of others. The defense mechanisms would try to perceive faults in others, just to make me feel better about myself. The biggest problem is that this ego brings us pain and sorrow because it’s abusing our true self. It’s demanding, fearful and negative, it doesn’t allow us to create meaningful and true relationships with others. Our whole reality can be clouded by this smog called ego.
Break Free from the Shackles
Breaking free from the ego has been an ongoing and difficult journey. It has taught patience through time and understanding through emotion. It taught me to appreciate that while we have received and deserved all the beauty that we are, others have gone through the same process. To share life experiences with the people around us connects us.
Giving without the expectation of anything in return is liberating, and a great way to begin discovering emancipation from the ego. To serve others with time and energy, love and hope, empathy and compassion trains the ego to become silent. My journey from insecure pessimist to eternal optimist has been riddled with diversions, accidents, embarrassment, wrong turns and late arrivals. These bumps along the way have filled this journey with discovery, unimaginable surprises, powerful breakthroughs and heavenly destinations. Looking back through this ongoing journey, I can recognize the key realizations in my learning. If you struggle to feel fully connected with who you are, these steps may serve as a guide.
Identify and Confront the Fears Behind Your Mask
My longest and most destructive fear: I believed that I couldn’t be loved, I wasn’t likable enough or attractive enough. Early signs spotted this, but my ego would not let me confront this. I devoted my time to stalking my fears. Rather than avoiding them, as per usual, I searched for opportunities to confront them, test myself, and learn. I opened up to myself, and to intimate relationships in a new way. I gave love without the worry of it being returned, I saw there was nothing to fear. We can all overcome our fears, they will evaporate when under scrutiny. Muster courage, identify fears, seek them every day and confront them. Fears are nothing more than bad explanations for what is happening.
Acknowledge Self-Pity and Being a Victim
My stories always used to follow the same pattern, criticizing the person or moment that had challenged me in some way, hiding below the ego’s need to be respected. The ego gets angry, irritated, resentful, always creating a bad explanation; that someone or something else outside yourself is creating your outcomes. With the help of a dear friend, I highlighted and stalked my self-pity like a hunter. Until I exposed my ego for what it was, recognizing when it was presenting a false-self. I let go of pretense and once the ego is let go, the wings begin to fly free. We are fully capable of creating the emotions that we feel, and the perspective that we hold.
Sustain Poise, no Matter what Challenge comes Your Way
It is easy to be poised when everything is going well. The character comes out during the challenges. I learned that my full capabilities are only possible when I am fully present, connected, graceful, creative and light-hearted. Poise is a state of consciousness to choose in every moment. You can turn every challenge into an opportunity, adventure, and valuable learning. Welcome the challenges, embrace them, say yes to them. We all possess a sense of uniqueness and individuality, that deserves respect and kindness. We are the silent space of eternal soul, beyond all of the ego’s masks.
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