Illusion Of Poverty
I was homeless for 6 years and I was never once poor. I’ve come to realize that maybe being poor must be a state of mind. What I did was use my creative mind to paint what I felt that I deserved in my personal life. But to do so I had to work on my self-esteem. What do I truly feel worthy of?
As soon as I let go of control and had faith that no matter what happens, I became triumphant. I realized that I had to let go of who I was told I was supposed to be. This idea helped me stay confident in myself, and that I should trust my intuition. It’s about intention. What do I intend to do?
For me, I am currently separated from my family, but to get back to them I must live like I am still a husband, father, and a daddy. I am not saying this guarantees anything, but this can increase my chances of getting back to my family. I have to be real with myself and live exactly as my words come out of my mouth, own what I say that I do. If I kept paying attention to those who are comfortable in poverty I will stay poor.
Spirituality and poverty
I lived pretty well with many rough times during my homeless experience, mostly because I was with my wife. I made sure that I supported her during those times. She helped me muster enough strength to panhandle. Doing so kept my family in hotels for months; I didn’t have a green card so my working situation was unstable.
I could have fallen into fear, allowing my pride, shame, blame and feeling embarrassed dictate my thoughts and actions. I continued my spiritual practices such as yoga, chi gong, wing chun, and chakra healing. This helped me stay in shape, for my mind, body, and soul. So I began to experience multiple help and resources along the way. Strangers helped me more than my own family. I was given free food and free clothes when I only simply asked for help. Many have paid and given me donations to stay in hotels months at a time. I couldn’t have done it alone without my wife and child.
I understand that there is a difference between begging for money and asking for help. I would ask, “Sir or ma’am, can you please help us?” If they wanted to know what was going on, I would introduce myself and tell them my story.
We did our best to keep our family together. My wife would panhandle too, and sometimes it was a tough and very sad experience. But I was so surprised at our blessings and I came to realize that I was homeless with gratitude. I began to see that everything was going our way, but still had some arguments here and there. I felt nature kept my family from poor knighthoods, no judgment because I understand why. I would have died there because poor or poverty energized places would have just pulled me down. I was allowed to live rich because of my spiritual knowledge.
Continue to be grateful
Show God or your Spirit gratitude. Being grateful and showing appreciation for your life can move us out of poverty. No matter how bad my situation appeared, I found a way to have fun with everything and every moment. Then other great opportunities started to come my way. This was because I showed appreciation for my current life.
In my new life, there are yoga classes. Normally I would never join anything like that. I signed up for a month. I even started dry-cleaning my clothes. I figured if I want to stay in this rich area VS my last poor area, I need to engage in everything that was given to me as possible! This recreated my reality of living and staying in abundance.
The mistake I made was saying that when I get there, when I finally buy or have this, then I will feel happy and successful. All of my problems would be gone! This is thinking from a lack of mind. The mind can only give us what we think is possible.
You are worthy
Life then kept giving me more of how I felt about myself, which is my feeling beautiful and worthy. I am worthy of God spoiling me, This was one of my inner feelings. Only because I knew that I was living according to God without a doubt, why would God not spoil us, even if others don’t agree with our lifestyle? I trusted my intuition.
So through my rough times, I was living in hotels just because I asked for help, not for money. I asked for money sometimes for specific things. I figured help can come in many forms instead of just money.
This then becomes true wealth, having many resources while going through a tough financial time. I nearly felt guilty. I thought of these people who were working hard from 9 to 5, giving me loads of money when I asked for help. If that is all that person thinks that they can offer, then I have to still be grateful.
I was still an energy healer and a spiritual speaker during my homeless days, and I kept updating my books. I was still giving back what I was only good at, which is being a lightworker. Yes, I had many days of walking around homeless needing a shower. But I stilled planted seeds along the way.
It doesn’t always involve money
Another important thing, money has nothing to do with poverty. It is based on a perception that needs to be addressed.
I feel satisfied with who I am now. Now, I can have whatever I want. This feeling helps push us out of mental limitations. I once, for many years, felt like I was not worth much no matter how much money, friends or material possessions I had.
So poverty is just a mental illness. It is just personal altogether. If our parents did not love us unconditionally and kept us motivated to being ourselves, by not living to be them, then life for us will appear to be hard, and so shall it be. We attract many harsh realities to outgrow our personal beliefs about what we can achieve.
Since I have moved on to my new life which can change, I continue to work on appreciating myself. The more I learn something new about me, this pushes me to prosper. Then I celebrate even if I am by myself to show myself gratitude. I buy myself flowers, spoil myself with eating out, and dance my heart out. If I end up crying, I nurture myself. Self-intimacy moves us out of poverty. We no longer put ourselves down.
I started to regain my confidence again. I began to see my purpose and what made me unique and slowly began embracing my special gifts. I first had to let go of the fear of what others would think of me before I could explore my creative side and try something new.
Are you living the way you want to live your own life? If you can stop doing something right now what would it be? If you were not afraid of disappointing anyone right about now, what would you truly be experiencing right now? Who have you subconsciously given up your authority too, is it your girlfriend, boyfriend, or a specific family member? Is it your teacher, boss or is it your neighbor? Maybe it’s your favorite TV or music star.
Be humbled and ask yourself. For a minute put your ego aside. This is what I practice with myself from time to time to keep my ego in check. Just remember that you have everything that you need because it is first inside. May your dreams come true.
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