How To Ask For Help And Feel Ok About It
I’m a strong woman. In fact, I often seem to be the strongest woman in the room. What that means is that I can and pretty much always do:
Figure out how to get the job done
Pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep moving
Choose to expand and grow
There are a lot of us out there: strong, conscious women. We are good at a lot of things, but what we do not excel at is asking for help. Why? We need it, we want it – yet when it comes down to the wire, we may not be able to get the words out. What occurred to me recently is that I really wasn’t practiced at asking for help. In reality, I actually didn’t know how to ask for it. What are the rules? How do I do it consciously? I can support my clients in asking for help in their own lives, but when it came to mine I fell short. I was determined to learn how to ask for help (and of course receive it).
Let’s remember, when we aren’t asking for support from humans, we aren’t asking the Universe for its support either. The Universe provides what we need, want and desire through humans. It could send us a tree bearing gifts, but that might really freak us out.
SEE ALSO: How I Learned To Let Go Of Control
Do You Know What You Want?
A lot of us believe we know what we want but when it comes right down to it, what we truly desire can be so intangible that it is hard to put into words. If you are not able to clearly name what you want, how can you possibly ask for it? I’m a genius at creating structure for transformation. So I created a structure to support my ability to ask for assistance. I began with one question between me and my Soul: What do I want and/or need? My answer included: freedom, love, support, connection, safety, stability, and fun.
I could practically “see” that conversation in my head: “Honey, I really want freedom. Can you support me with that?” I tuned into my Soul a second time and asked another question: I want freedom. What would freedom look like and feel like in my life? My answer: Freedom would look like being worry-free and it would feel full of safety. Brilliant! I can work with that information. I know that to manifest anything in my life there is always an internal and external action. The internal action clears any beliefs that might be in the way of receiving what I want or desire.
What Are You Going To Do About It?
To begin the process of asking humans and the Universe for support, I knew I had to understand which internal action to take. Who better to answer that question than my Soul. Internal actions fall into four different categories:
Allowing – which is an opening up feeling or moving into curiosity
Letting Go – which is handing something over to your higher power
Acceptance – which is letting go of how you wish things had been different and/or moving into forgiveness
Activation – turning something on that is already inside of you
I asked the question about my internal step and then completed it.
What Asking Steps Am I Going To Take?
Now that I had (and you too might have) all this new information about what I want and had completed my internal action, I needed to start speaking up and asking for help. We often get to a point where we aren’t being conscious about asking for help so it can come out as anger, resentment or frustration. By working within a structure, you place consciousness around asking for support and therefore both asking and receiving become easier. After we have the knowledge of what we want and have cleared any beliefs in the way of it, we can take the next step in asking the Universe and the appropriate humans for their support.
You can Do this Several Ways:
You can write out your request to the Universe, focus on it each day – then notice the opportunities that come up and say yes to them! You can ask your Soul “who can truly support me in creating this in my life?” and ask that person. Be clear and offer a tangible way that they can assist you. I’m creating (blank) in my life. Will you be able to (blank)? An example is: I’m creating freedom in my life. One of the ways is by being worry-free. Could you lovingly remind me if you see or hear me worrying? Or, I’m creating peace in my life. One of the ways to create peace is to be more in the flow. Do you know of any tools to help get my finances in order or can you sit with me when I do my finances?
Don’t Discount Gratitude
We hear a lot about gratitude as a spiritual principle and I hear a lot of people conducting drive-by gratitude: thank you so much for this, but I don’t have…Gratitude is the fuel for receiving. Everything and everyone likes to be thanked. Be present with your thank you’s. The thank you is the completion of the giving and receiving circle and it begins the next one.
It’s up to you to go and practice.
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