Budgeting For The Amount Of F*cks You Should Give…

Budgeting For The Amount Of F*cks You Should Give

2,500 years ago, Gautama Buddha said, “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path”. Translated, 2,500 years later and we have, “I couldn’t give a fuck”. Excuse the language, but I did say bring this forward a few millennia.

So, if I couldn’t really give a fuck, what does it really means to not give a fuck? Possibly the best thing about what it means to give a fuck is that it means YOU care. So, the next burning question is, what exactly is a fuck? Time, energy and money (coming in or going out) can be counted in fucks. For instance, East Enders or the beloved Khardashians do NOTHING for me. So, I’m not going to spend my time, energy or money on their merchandising because I can’t give a fuck.

By not giving a fuck, this then gives you the time, energy and money to spend on the things you can give a fuck about.

SEE ALSO: 5 Effective Techniques To Help Cope With Painful Memories

Relation to Budget

In the UK, the average couple with their 2 to 4 children has to work 67 hours a week just to survive. There is nothing left over for luxuries, such as evenings out, holidays. For them, the routine it is get up, brave the commute to work, work in a place where according to a Gallup poll, 65% feel unappreciated, brave the commute back, do the shopping, housework, cooking and collapse in front of the TV to watch an equally depressing soap, then bed. That is the reality for most middle-class families.

To stop doing this takes a lot of thought, courage and red wine. But, it is easier than you think. You have to look at ways of using the time, energy and money you have better, more effectively so that you have the time energy and money for the things you actually give a fuck about. So, you have to create a fuck-budget. To create your fuck budget, you have to first declutter your mind. You have to make a list of all the things that annoy you and all the things you enjoy.

So, back to Buddhist teachings, “The mind is not a dustbin to keep anger, hatred & jealousy, but it is a treasure box to keep love, happiness and sweet memories”

Make Decisions

The first step is to decide what you don’t give a fuck about. So, for instance, things like:

  • Commuting
  • Work
  • Work leaving to-dos for colleagues you don’t even like
  • Conference calls
  • Committee meetings
  • Baby showers
  • Stag or hen weekends with people you don’t like

Stop Caring

Then step 2, don’t give a fuck about those things. Easy in theory, but sometimes you are obliged to make sacrifices in order to have enough fucks to give to the things that bring you joy. So there is always a trade off.

So your revised list might look like:

  • Commuting
  • Work
  • Work leaving to-dos for colleagues you don’t even like, don’t give a fuck
  • Conference calls, don’t give a fuck
  • Committee meetings
  • Baby showers, don’t give a fuck
  • Stag or hen weekends with people you don’t like, don’t give a fuck

Maybe this will be seen as a recipe for you turning into an arsehole and this is where the “not being sorry” bit comes in. Because you only have a certain amount of time, energy and money, consult your fuck budget and decide what and who you’re going to spend your fuck bucks on. Eliminate as much as possible the things you feel obliged or would feel guilty if you didn’t do it and POLITELY & HONESTLY say that magic word: “No”.

Learn to Say No

If you do this right from the start, no one will think you an arsehole. Just tell them honestly, “No thank you, I don’t have the time. I can’t afford it. I don’t want to”

If you say yes and then bail at the last moment or don’t show, the people will rightly think you’re an arsehole. But done politely and honestly from the start, the world will not end and you will be making massive and liberating changes in your world by not giving a fuck and not being sorry about it.

“Never explain yourself – your real friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it,” Buddha’s teachings.

It only takes a few minutes to start this but the changes will last years. As Buddha said 2,500 years ago, “You alone must walk that path”. The language has changed but the implications are probably even more relevant today than they were in Buddha’s time.

If you get the impression this is a commercial for Buddhism, I always like to think of a quote from the Dalai Lama – “My religion is simple, my religion is kindness”

Amen to that.


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Christopher Richards

I am a 64 year old retired dental surgeon. I now run a venture encouraging social inclusion showing people that…

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