Why You Must Forgive And Heal — For YOURSELF
Sometimes in life, we encounter painful experiences which can leave us wounded for a long time, unless addressed. Why forgiveness is so important for living a fuller and healthier life, is something that is on many researchers’ minds and more and more studies are being done around emotional intelligence and mind over matter. The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce depression, anger, and stress and lead to greater feelings of hope, peace, self-confidence and a better life.
When we are resentful and full of unreleased painful emotions, we are clouded in our thinking and we are constantly thinking about the past and letting the present moment pass us by. I ask you; does it feel better to live in the past or think hopeful thoughts about the future?
In order to live your life to the fullest, you must learn to forgive and let go of emotionally painful events.
Your quality of life depends on forgiveness
Being an adult, there comes a time where we must choose where we are headed and what is important right now. We must think about what happened in the past as an experience and accept it objectively. It is hard. But we must learn to forgive and move on to better and bigger things. Do you know why it is so important that you forgive?
You cannot give another person a chance fully unless you are fully healed and ready to receive the new. And if you don’t forgive, then how can you start fresh? If You no longer want to be damaged, you must listen to that voice in your head which wants you to forgive and move on with the new. Life is full of experiences and when we encounter a painful relationship, we must release it and leave it in the past.
Here are a few steps to forgiveness.
Acknowledge that nobody is perfect
You cannot control anyone. The only control we have is how we react to challenges. Everyone faces some challenges in their lives, so when you let others’ behavior make you feel sick to your stomach, it’s time to reset and step back from that situation. This is the time to indulge in self-care activities until you can release the negative energies that are weighing on you.
Change your perspective
You have the power to change your emotional responses regarding a painful experience. You can be deliberate and choose to focus on different thoughts and activities that bring you laughs and the childlike smile on your face. You have that power in you. Just give it a try a few times.
Talk to someone you trust and share how you felt regardless of how much you end up crying. Let your emotions out and don’t apologize. Pain is more bearable with someone there to listen.
Forgiveness is for YOU
Try to understand that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean you will reconcile with the person who hurt you. You are just trying to reach to an acceptance of what happened in order to move past that.
If that person is still in your life, now is the time to accept that individual as they are, without wanting to change their behavior or aspects of their personality.
A life well-lived
In his book Forgive for Good, Dr. Fred Luskin recommends that people who are struggling to forgive remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain a level of power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty, and kindness all around you. Forgiveness is about recognizing your personal power.
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