On Finding Yourself During A Transition…

On Finding Yourself During A Transition

Are you finding yourself in the midst of transition, that uncomfortable void where one thing has ended and the new has not yet begun?

Transitions are often preceded by a loss. It could be the loss of a loved one through a passing, the end of a love relationship, or the loss of employment. Transitions can also follow important milestones, such as a move to another town, a new place of employment or our children leaving the nest. Any time we find ourselves asking “Now what”, we are probably in a period of transition.

For most of us, transitions are a place we want to avoid. We stay in relationships long after they are healthy for us in an effort to avoid the unknown and uncomfortable possibility of having to navigate this world alone. We try to hold on to our children as they prepare to leave the nest. We stay in jobs that no longer feed our soul, because starting over somewhere new, making new friends and learning new tasks, seems too daunting. Living life in this protective, yet half-alive state feels less scary than jumping feet first into the unknown.

Those transitions that are pushed on us are often the most difficult to navigate and are the ones that challenge our spirit the most.  The death of a loved one, the end of a relationship we were not ready to see end, losing a job that we loved, chronic illness, those are the places where the void can be felt the hardest.

Often times, it leaves us on the floor, devastated, scared and alone. We want to rush through it and get to the other side. We jump prematurely into new relationships, we find unhealthy coping strategies as we try to numb out the pain and fear of the unknown. There is a way to navigate through the void in a way that honors what was and prepares us to be in a healthy place for what is to come. If you are finding yourself in transition, here are some strategies you could employ to make this place of uncertainty be the place of your rebirth:

SEE ALSO: The 7 Day Plan To A Higher Vibration

Honor Your Feelings of Loss

All losses are difficult. Children heading off to college is a wonderful event, but that does not mean that there isn’t also the loss of family life the way we knew it to be. The end of a relationship, even if the relationship was not a healthy one, may still be a painful loss. We mourn the hopes and dreams of the future we imagined. If we allow ourselves to feel the pain, without the attachment of the painful stories, we can allow our feelings to move through us. Many times we avoid feeling the pain, because we feel as though we may never stop crying. Loss demands to be felt. If we avoid the feeling, the feeling gets bigger until it becomes overwhelming.

Learn about Yourself

Take this space between not anymore and not yet and dig deep into your own psyche. What makes you tick? What makes your heart sing? What scares you? Who are you? These are wonderful questions to explore with wise friends, a life coach or therapist. Take this time to really get to know yourself. What are you willing to accept in your next relationship? What is your worth? There is so much wisdom and growth to be had in transition, that if we use this time wisely, we can expand and grow and become more fully who we are.

Keep Moving Forward

If there are things that you have always enjoyed doing, but you lack somebody to do them with now, due to the loss of a loved one or the loss of friends, do them anyway! Yes, the first time you go to a movie by yourself might feel awkward. Going on your first solo road trip may feel vulnerable and a bit scary. As you do things that scare you, your confidence and joy in life will grow naturally.

Happiness and self-reliance should never be attached to other people. They truly are an inside job. Every time we shrink back in fear, our world gets a little smaller. Every time we step boldly out of our comfort zone, our life expands. Yes, transitions are hard.  When they are over, we are happy that they are over. Would it not feel wonderful though, to look back at what was a painful transition and be able to say to yourself, “Yes, that void was the birthplace of me. That lonely place is where I found myself. That transition propelled me into a bigger and bolder version of me. I rose to the occasion and the Universe met me there”?


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Nicole Wettemann


Nicole Wettemann is a Certified Holistic Life Coach, Author, Energy Healer and the founder of the Depression Freedom Technique™. Nicole…

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