Why Every Modern Woman Needs A Tribe
Having squad goals or finding a tribe may seem like it belongs firmly in the world of millennials with their makeup tutorials and trending hashtags, but I think every modern woman needs her squad.
I’m not a millennial. I’m of the generation that came before, the one that remembers grunge rock, boy bands, and the advent of cell phones. I didn’t have a computer in my classroom until I was 12, and even then it was only because my class won a competition. I can use a rotary phone, work a record player, and can remember sitting around for hours recording music off the radio to make a mix tape for my BFF, which every one of my generation will remember is my Best Friend Forever.
While this may make me sound dated, I disclose this to say that I am not a millennial, and yet I, too, have #squad goals. I feel like I’ve found a tribe, even if most of my girlfriend are spread out across the country and even around the world. We are soul sisters, and I wouldn’t think of navigating this life without their fierce, loving support.
Defining Who My Girls Are
When I was growing up, I was taught that it was better to be the kind of girl who wasn’t like other girls. But this entire idea is firmly rooted in the belief that being a girl means being catty, competitive, high-maintenance, jealous, and other undesirable characteristics. I hung out with guys and prided myself on being a guy’s girl, which basically meant that I was cool. But I grew up. Growing up meant that I could see that how we were taught to define girls doesn’t actually define us.
The girls in my squad, women now, aren’t catty. If we’re competitive, it’s in a good-natured way or the kind of competition where we’re only interested in doing our personal best, not besting others. I’ve decided that high-maintenance is just a term boys throw at girls who expect to be treated with respect and basic consideration. We are not what I was told we were.
We are so much more. The women in my tribe, if I can call it that without appropriating the culture of others, are strong. They are fierce in their affections and loyalty. They are honest to a fault. They are determined and proud and beautiful and hilarious. They are the best moms and the best workers. They are great wives and fiercely independent single women and grand adventurers.
Why a Squad Matters
Having a squad means having someone to call when things are going well, and having someone to lean on when everything falls apart. It’s having people in our lives who don’t expect us to explain ourselves because they understand what we’re all about. We don’t sit around swapping gossip and exchanging makeup tips.
We’re delving into our souls and connecting at those deeper levels. We’re showing up to say I love you, and I see you. We’re present for each other, in ways that it’s hard to explain to the guy’s girl who still doesn’t believe women can be her greatest ally because she’s convinced herself that there’s something wrong with being a woman. Every modern woman needs a squad because we just can’t be everything to ourselves. We need our strongest supporters and the people who will remind us of our best selves when we’re feeling our worst. Squad goals aren’t just for young girls out there taking on the world together. They are for all of us, reaching out to support each other and saying that we’re in this together. It’s lifting each other up and sometimes carrying each other when we’re not at our strongest. It’s being there, no matter what.
It’s finding each other and supporting each other through all ages and stages. Call them your ride-or-die or name them your tribe. Call them whatever you want, even if it’s just friends. We never stop needing them, and they will always be our most loyal allies. It’s not just for millennials. It’s for us all.
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