Don’t Fake It ‘Till You Make It, Face It ‘Till You Make It’…

Don’t Fake It ‘Till You Make It, Face It ‘Till You Make It’

There is a common notion for us as a society to just fake it till you make it. For those wondering what that means, it means putting a smile on your face and laughing like life is wonderful while your problems and struggles remain untouched, unresolved, and haunting you when nobody is looking. In fact, I did that a good portion of my life without even knowing it. I never really heard that phrase until I became older. People actually began to give me that advice, and I found it very odd, but why not try it and give that same advice out to those I worked with or mentored.

The problem with that is I am not sure I ever really believed in it myself. It had its popular phase for a bit, and now I do not hear it as much, but it is still out there.

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Faking it isn’t Helpful in the Long Run

I soon realized how destructive incorporating this into my life truly was. It is a dangerous path, in my personal opinion. We live in a world where it is a beautiful mess. It is sloppy, but we have a say. We have a choice. Keep your side of the street clean, but when you are not able to, it is absolutely okay. That is when we learn our lessons and find our mistakes to correct them.

I began to see the consequences of this advice that so many seemed to follow. It was only hurting me in the long run, and from what I can see, them as well. That is not how I wanted to live my life, or how I wanted to get to a place of peace. The road to happiness is not paved by ignoring what we must deal with in order to move forward. I was becoming far more destructive because I was not dealing with my issues and trauma. I was walking around smiling and laughing while making others smile and laugh. Everything was fine. That is what I told myself. That being said, how would anybody even know to ask me? How would they know I needed support, consoling, and love? I had a hard time reaching out all my life. So unless I was asked, I was not offering up the information. It was very difficult for me to live this way, and I do not recommend it for anybody else either.

It Affects Others Too

The faking nonsense not only damages you and your mind but others around you. At some point, you will break. You will fall apart, and you will become self-destructive and push people away. You might even become defensive of the question being asked once it becomes noticeable something is wrong. You also begin to forget who you are and who you want to be. You forget what it truly feels like to be happy, smiling without forcing it, or what a true laugh feels like. A laugh from the bottom of your stomach that radiates out so loudly that it makes others laugh with you.

If I was going to get through my past, I not only wanted to survive but thrive and get to that place I yearned for. I needed to face it rather than run away from it. No matter how far you run, it is inside of your soul. You will not outrun that. Trust me, it follows you everywhere you go. Running is not the answer unless you are running towards your problems to embrace them and own them. Faking it stops you from facing your fears. Fears remain until you confront them. Hitting it head on is what will ultimately get you through the storm inside of you that only becomes stronger.

Everything else will begin to fall into place, eventually, but we must take that journey towards self-healing.

A Better Alternative to Faking It

Do not dwell too long that you become a hot mess of emotions. You want to feel your emotions in a healthy way and let them go. Like setting a balloon free from its string into the sky. Do not let it settle to where resentment and anger find a home or the passive aggressiveness sets in. It soon is a web you will find it hard to break free from. You want to avoid unnecessary turmoil at all costs.

Let people ask you what is wrong, and tell them. If they are asking, it is because they care. All those weeds you have in your garden will soon disappear, but if you continue on that path of faking it, they will only grow more and accumulate to where it is a disaster area to clean up. This only creates more work for us to do. The best advice I can give to someone working through their past or present is to face it till you make it. Faking it will only prolong creating a healthy mentality. Harboring so much deep inside will only make it harder for you to breathe. So, inhale and exhale slowly until you it no longer feels like a chore.


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Dana Jacoviello

Dana Jacoviello is a writer/celeb interviewer/podcast host, activist, advocate, founder of Bullies Keep Out, freelances in entertainment/social media & correspondence/PR/Media/Events,…

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