Why I Don’t Apologize For My Sensitivity And Why You Shouldn’t Either
Being Highly Sensitive is a trait that no one really explained or actually really elaborated on when I was growing up. Either you were too sensitive or normal, there was no in-between. When sensitivity was talked about, it sounded like something awful that made you look like the weak one. I remember getting picked on at school because of my sensitive nature and this lead me to secretly being ashamed of it. I cried very easily, my heart broke easily I felt everything including everyone’s frustration and sadness very easily. I took on people’s problems like I was experiencing them for myself and I really had a hard time moving through my emotions and feelings. I really didn’t understand why I felt this way and why no one else seemed to feel the way I did.
I didn’t feel that anyone around me felt the intense emotions I was going through or actually talked about it. I felt odd, unusual and like I didn’t fit in, I actually felt very lonely at times in my teens and early 20’s, even if I came across as I wasn’t. As I grew older, I saw myself denying my sensitivity and pretending that I wasn’t sensitive especially around boys/men. I was trying to come across like things didn’t hurt me when actually they cut through me deeply. If I showed my sensitivity “I would be made fun of, I wouldn’t be taken seriously” my inner critic would scream.
How I Accepted My Sensitivity
My true learning point came when I moved overseas to be a flight attendant, I became really sick during my time there, I didn’t have the support I deeply wanted from myself or others. I hadn’t been listening to my feelings or really been honoring my sensitivity. I had been denying that part of me for so long. Being sensitive to me was such a flaw, so of course, I had coping mechanisms including compulsive behaviors of being overly positive to protect myself from feeling and being tuned into that sensitive part of me, that just needed to be explored and heard.
I was defiantly going through a pain like I had never experienced before. There were no more places for my sensitivity to hide, it was all coming up and it didn’t want to be silenced anymore. Every feeling that I had ever denied came to the surface to be felt, seen and loved. I then began my journey of accepting and diving into my sensitivity from that moment. I devoured books on sensitivity and the researched the trait, I went through blogs, I connected with people who felt the same and I learned very slowly, step by step to embrace sensitive nature on a deeper level. Over time I came to see it as a gift.
Being sensitive doesn’t feel like a gift when:
- It is not explained or talked about
- Not respected
- Not expressed and accepted
- When it’s not appreciated
The true gifts of being highly sensitive when embraced are:
- Deep creativity
- Deep connection to self and the world around you
- Purpose & fulfillment
- Deeper love for yourself and others
How I Feel about My Sensitivity Now
I believe it’s one of my core gifts. I was reading a book by Ken Page recently and he talks about core gifts and that the most vulnerable parts of ourselves are where our core gifts hide. At first, I was surprised but when I looked deeper, I found that to be true. My sensitivity has allowed me to form a deep connection with myself in a way that I never thought I would experience. It’s allowed me to really empathize with others and create great connections, its allowed me to feel into situations and be able to trust my intuition and I have been able to write articles that I do not think I would be able to write if I did not tune into my sensitive nature.
Yes, it’s not easy being sensitive in the world that we live in, especially if you do not understand it fully or have a lot of shame around it. The environment, the food we put in our bodies and the company that we surround ourselves with can have a huge impact on us and it’s important to give ourselves space, environments, and foods that help us thrive because it’s indeed possible. When I started fully accepting my sensitivity and stopped apologizing for the way I felt and fully owned it, my relationship with myself and others grew. I had really come into that part of myself and it felt exhilarating.
Do you see sensitivity as a burden or a deep gift? Are you denying those attributes that sensitivity can give you? Have you given yourself a chance to delve deep into your brilliance of being sensitive? Please never apologize for something as precious and needed as your sensitivity.
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