How Coaching Changed My Life: The Power Of Opening Yourself Up
I think I’ve always had a great life. I mean, at least a pretty good one. However, if you asked me to use one word and one word only to describe my adult life in its majority, I would inarguably have to use the word STRUGGLE. Prior to my introduction to coaching, my life was filled with all sorts of great things, but the way that I chose to get there, the energy surrounding each move, the climate of it all, felt like a huge burden, struggle, one problem and issue and mess after the next. I read countless self-help books, went to therapy, tried so many different ways to quit drinking, took up yoga, started teaching yoga…the list goes on and on. Nothing truly shifted me out of that struggle scenario until I began to work with an outside perspective in a new way.
Coaching encourages transformation
My life has transformed into something truly exceptional in the past four years since I have incorporated coaching into my life. Working with a handful of various coaches with different specialties and skill sets has cracked open my life in the most beautiful and glorious ways. This has given me the power and the curriculum and the inspiration to create a new life for myself, even though I didn’t have a specific blueprint to model it after.
Evolutionary principles want you to SURVIVE
Humans tend to repeat what is shown to them, and we also tend to follow the path of least resistance. From an evolutionary perspective, this approach lends towards survivability and ease, as making change tends to require energy, thought, intention, and perseverance. Change is also SUPER SCARY to the human brain, even if it is a positive change. The human brain is finite; it can only create based on the information it currently has. Therefore, if we want to create change in our lives, we must inject the brain with new thoughts, ideas, patterns, and visions. This does not typically happen automatically for the average person.
Closed loop system — fixed mindset
Before I began coaching, I operated inside what I like to call a closed loop system. All the thoughts, emotions, decisions, and plans I made occurred inside of myself, based on past (struggle) experiences, future projections of those past experiences, and the physical reactions currently living in my body that were generated by these thoughts and emotions. Inside of a closed loop, the same energy keeps recirculating inside of the system, generating the same types of thoughts, emotions, and actions, while creating the same results. Closed loops are a great way to get stuck inside of yourself, with no ability to see that you are actually stuck inside yourself. It is difficult to solve a problem with the same type of thinking that created the problem.
Open loop system — growth mindset
When you invite a coach or other skilled professional into your life and your circumstances, you create what is now an open loop system. This trusted person can then interrupt your thought/emotion/behavior cycles with their observations, and inject alternative forms of truth, guidance, and behavior into your existing system. Now, incorporating new viewpoints and lenses, you are able to move forward towards results you haven’t experienced before, since you are thinking thoughts you’ve never thought before, generating emotions you’ve never felt before, and taking action that you’ve never taken before. New life truly is possible.
Your coach sees you in context
With a coach, you have an opportunity to work with someone over an extended period of time, who is dedicated fully to your growth and success as a person. You develop trust and rapport while working together, and that coach can observe your patterns and support you to find what it takes to create and build new ones. They can show you the limiting beliefs you inherited from your upbringing (we all have them, no matter what our parents were like!), and help you to choose new, more powerful and intentional beliefs to build your life upon going forward. You can move beyond the inheritance of your upbringing and become someone who doesn’t drink, someone who handles money differently, someone who creates deep and meaningful relationships and connections; someone who takes control of the outcome of their life.
A coaching relationship can elevate you to the next level
In the end, your coach becomes someone who bears witness to your life; they witness your journey, honor your efforts, and celebrate your struggles, your transformations, your victories. Life is too short and also too long to continue upon a path that is leading you to a place where you do not wish to go. Open up your loop and invite a trained set of skilled, empathetic, and courageous eyes on your life. I promise that it could be the beginning of the life of your dreams.
Personal application for you to consider:
- What is holding me back in this life? How am I getting in my own way?
- What is my plan to get from where I am to where I want to be? How will I execute this plan?
- How might I benefit from someone else’s input and support in my life?
- What might I offer the world, if I were truly healed and whole?
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