The Illusion That Control Is Safety…

The Illusion That Control Is Safety

What am I trying to control, and why?

The false structure of control gives humans the illusion of safety. The real truth is, the only way we can truly feel safe is from the inside out. If you don’t feel safe internally, then you will always be looking over your shoulder or on the lookout for the falling anvil. This feeling of having to be on guard all the time will create the pattern of needing to control everything and everyone. It will lead to exhaustion, a feeling of lack, and co-dependent relationships.

Allowing yourself to surrender control and feel the peace within as you release this resistance is absolute bliss. It allows you to breathe with ease. I’m sure you have heard about surrendering control before, but how do you get to that place?

SEE ALSO: Buddha’s 6 Rules Of Love

Surrender and acceptance

Most individuals can’t move into surrender because they’re in non-acceptance. It’s hard for humans to accept ‘what is’ without judging themselves, wishing things were different or that those experiences didn’t occur. When you step into the consciousness of acceptance, it allows you to take action from a place of deep connection and knowing. What you are saying to yourself is you are whole and complete, loved and supported no matter what is happening. I suggest that you write down all those situations you are still holding on to and ask your Soul what you can activate to accept each one of them. It might take you some time to complete this exercise. It’s so effective I make it a regular practice for myself on an on-going basis!

Letting go of control

When you are busy trying to control every aspect of life, what you are actually doing is impeding Universal support. In fact, what often happens is that you are pushing away a lot of opportunities, support, and love that don’t fit into your finite parameters. To begin to loosen your grip on control, I suggest several questions when you notice you are trying to regulate the world.

Prior to asking these questions, create a conscious connection with your Soul and your higher power. If you are aware of your Soul Languages, I suggest you utilize that connection process. Now ask:

  • “What am I currently trying to control in my life and why?”
  • “Who am I currently trying to control in my life and why?”
  • “If I knew I was safe and supported, how would I act and be different?”
  • And, finally, the last question to ask is:
  • “What do I want to hand over to the Divine?”

After you write down or receive your answers you can consider it done and complete. If you feel the control coming up again, repeat the exercise.

Knowing what you can control

The only thing you can truly control is how you respond to the world. It is about fostering a belief inside of you that you are loved and supported. When you know and deeply believe this to be true, rather than trying to control your external world you will start to take action on that knowing and you will feel a deep sense of peace.

Understanding the difference between worry and concern can support you in letting go of control. There are concerns you can take action on, such as, “I’m concerned about the noise in my car, so I will take it to a mechanic”. The situations that create worry are out of your hands. These are patterns of worry about things that you don’t take action on because there is no action to take…for example: I’m worried that there will be a funny sound in my car.

When you are conscious about control, it allows you to step more deeply into the flow of the Universe, and the Universe will find new ways of supporting you.


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Jennifer Urezzio


Jennifer Urezzio is the founder of Soul Language and a master intuitive who uses her intuitive skills to help raise…

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