How To Really Manifest Love Using The Law Of Attraction
If you give me three weeks, some paper and a pen, I can manifest a 6’7″ brunette Norwegian with green eyes and a love of long-haired chihuahuas.
You’ve probably heard of the well-known manifestation strategy of creating a list of everything you are looking for in a partner and focusing on those attributes, visualizing the person in detail, until the universe brings him to you – six-pack and all, delivered right to your front door. Well, I used to be a master of said manifestation technique, and I’ve even manifested an impressive variety of romantic partners, from a peaceful, self-proclaimed redneck, to a millionaire CEO with a home in Hawaii.
But there’s something you don’t know about using the law of attraction to manifest a partner, and it’s that, while he may meet a list of requirements, most of which are superficial, deep down, he will have the same exact fears and negative patterns (when it comes to dating) as you do. How do I know this? Because every person attracted mirrored back to me my own subconscious fears – fears of intimacy, that I wasn’t worthy of love, and fears of being deeply hurt. Further, I wasn’t aware of these fears until just two years ago. Up until then, they were repressed, and I would push people away, or put my guard up, afraid to open my heart and let anyone in.
Maybe this sounds familiar to you: You are stuck in a pattern of dating men who fear commitment or are emotionally reticent; they play hot-cold games with you, and each relationship only gets so far. So what do you do if that’s the case? What do you do if you stare at your vision board for hours each day, and still, you can’t seem to find the right partner?
SEE ALSO: The Trap Of Trauma
Recognize that the people who are showing up in your life are meeting you exactly where you are.
Sure, on a conscious level, I thought I wanted a partnership, and yet, I had to recognize that it was what was in my subconscious that was being reflected in my external reality. The millionaire CEO had emotional wounds that matched my own. If you keep attracting a certain type of man, you have to take radical responsibility and admit that there’s one common denominator – you.
Decide that you will do ANYTHING necessary to become aware of your fears and trauma and heal them.
It’s only when we’ve reached our limit of terrible dates and painful breakups that we declare is enough is enough and commit to a path of self-love and healing. When we reach our limit of pain, we become committed to a new way of showing up in our romantic lives, and we let go of negative patterns.
Develop a self-awareness practice.
I’m a devoted student of A Course in Miracles, a text that helps us to recognize where we are living out of fear, as opposed to love. There are many paths to self-awareness, such as meditation, yoga, and prayer. The important thing is to find a practice to which we are committed and set aside time every day to become present to our emotions and still our thoughts.
Surrender the idea of your dream man.
The universe has a better person for you than you could ever imagine, but he might not look or act the way you imagine. Yes, a list can be a powerful tool, but so often, we are too headstrong on dating a specific sort of person. And, funnily enough, this is the exact sort of person with whom we keep breaking up. Open up to dating someone who is nothing like anything you ever imagined, and instead, focus on becoming present to your subconscious fears and the invisible walls you put up to keep love out of your life.
Our lives (romantic and otherwise) are projections of our internal state, and so, it is a continual journey: an ongoing process of releasing resistance and choosing to let in love when we are unconsciously afraid of true partnership. Most of us have experienced years of dysfunctional love, both in our own relationships, as well as watching our parents who did not serve as fitting role models of healthy, mindful partners. To attract a whole and healthy relationship, we must be whole and healthy first, and then and only then, can we manifest a loving partner. The good news is, it is possible. It’s just a matter of doing the energetic work and developing a commitment to mindfulness and self-love.
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