Can Love Exist Without Attachment And Expectations?
Yes, it can. Such love is called Pure Love. Let’s see how.
In love, one always expects something, material or emotional, from the other person. At the least, we hope that our loved ones will love us in the same manner as we love them. And if they don’t, we get upset, tensed and/or unhappy. It is because we feel it is very natural and justified to expect at least this much when one loves each other.
But do you know, this is the fundamental sign of attachment?
Since you have attachment, you are expecting something in return. When you truly start loving the person, you only give. It becomes one-way traffic as you genuinely love to give and that too without expecting anything in return. There is not an iota of selfish interest in it. When such selfless pure love comes into existence, the attachment goes. And with it, all the tension one experiences in the relationship also goes. You are so happy, and so is your loved one!
When you love without having any expectations from the other person, whatever the other person does is obviously welcome, but even if the person does not do something, you do not get disturbed because there were no expectations anyways from the person. You rather try to understand the other person’s situation with a balanced mind and find out how you can be of some good help to him or her. Where there is pure love, there never arises any blame game or pointing fingers at each other. There is love, love and only love that exists all along.
What is pure love?
Param Pujya DadaBhagwan, an enlightened being says when there exists love for the other person but there are no expectations, no attachment and no hatred in it, it is defined as pure love. You don’t see the other person’s faults. And if person gives you respect, your love does not increase and if he insults you, your love does not decrease. Such is the pure love!
You can win this entire world with Pure Love!
When you see your love for the loved one has begun to exist without attachment and expectations, you will observe one more characteristic in this love. That is, it becomes universal. You experience pure love for one and all — your mother, father, brother, sister, friends, relatives, colleagues, any person that you meet, and even for birds, animals, trees, etc.
When such love exists, you feel oneness with the entire world, and so does the world feel for you!
Characteristics of a person with “Pure Love” Such a person:
- Has no expectations,
- Does not hurt anyone,
- Never says negative things of one person to the other person,
- Never sees faults of anyone.
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “When can you become the ‘Embodiment of Love’? When you do not look for laws or rules; when you do not see anyone at fault.”
How do you make a beginning for such love to arise
- Make a strong PROMISE in your heart that I do not want to cause any hurt to any living being in this world.
- Everyday apologize for your mistakes for causing pain, grief, hurt or sorrow to any person you have met through the day, such as parents, in-laws, friends, relatives, business people, vendors, store owners, gardeners, waiters, bus conductors, taxi drivers, and others.
- If anyone does not talk to you properly or is mad with you, you apologize even then.
- Apologize in your mind. Remember God and ask for forgiveness for the hurt you have caused to anyone, with sincere repentance in your heart.
- When your anger, pride, deceit, greed, attachment, abhorrence and opinions for people begin to leave, you will not see any person as ‘faulty or guilty’, rather you will develop Pure Love towards every person.
References for you to make such ‘Pure Love’ exist right within You
I myself had lot of issues at home. Just then I came across the books, “Adjust Everywhere” and “Pure Love”. These books gave me good tips and I learnt where I was going wrong on the path of loving people.
Further, I saw a video of Pujya Deepakbhai, where he was giving some simple points to bring about higher level love into existence. But you know what, I got a feeling that such love exists within Him. There was so much of love in his eyes and I could see detachment in his entire being. In this clip, He mentions that one should attend satsang, which I did. And in there, I got to know about ‘Self-Realization’ and how easy it is to attain that with the grace of the Living Gnani. Here, have a look – https://www.dadabhagwan.org/search/self-realization/
Our Self is the Pure Soul that resides right within us. And Soul is nothing but Pure Love. When we attain Self-Realization, we understand the pure love much better as it begins to reflect in our own being too. This is awesome!
But let me not tell you more for I want you to experience it on your own. Best wishes! 👍
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