11 Things I Learned Within One Week Of Meeting My Twin Flame
When my twin flame and I met, I was in a really good place in my life. I was feeling more independent than ever before. It was a culmination of 5 years of personal growth that got me to a place where I was apparently ready to meet him, though I had not been actively seeking him. The most important thing about meeting my twin flame is not the details of our story, but what it taught me. It was as if every problem I’d ever had in a relationship in the past bubbled to the surface within just a few days of meeting him, and they continue to fizzle out over time.
Here are 11 of the lessons I learned about myself within just a week of meeting my twin flame.
1) True love doesn’t need confirmation
I learned this one the hard way. Within just a couple days of meeting in person, I felt my twin was already being standoffish and flakey about making plans. I called him out on it over text, and he did not reply. Ouch. How could I meet the love of my life, who I felt such a strong connection to, and have him not confirm it for me? I felt like I was going crazy. However, after reading several twin flame stories and blogs online, I understood what was happening. He was just mirroring something in myself that I’d been hiding from, the belief that I needed a text back from him because that would give me the confirmation that he was interested. It brought me way back to my childhood where I didn’t always receive the confirmation I needed to thrive.
Putting two and two together, I was able to release the belief that I needed him to text me back in order to know that he cared about me.
2) Rejection Isn’t Real
This goes hand-in-hand with the first lesson. When my twin “rejected” me by not texting me back, I felt angry. I felt used. I felt hurt. Rejection was a huge issue in my previous relationships. Just because he was ignoring me doesn’t mean he was rejecting me. That was all me. It was just a thought. It made me feel like he didn’t care about me. But never once did he say that. I was just connecting the dots in a way that many women do, a way that links all the way back to early childhood. Being rejected in childhood means you could literally die. Being “rejected” in a relationship doesn’t. It just meant that there was a lesson I needed to learn, and that was to not put any emotional energy into whether or not he replied to me.
3) To Embrace My Masculine Side
When I got over the pain of the “rejection,” I was able to face another truth about myself. That I never made the first contact in a relationship. I rarely texted first because I thought it showed desperation and I didn’t want the guy to think I was needy.
Ironically, that actually vibrationally showed more neediness. I was dependent on the guy to text me and would wait around, to the point of feeling like crap. I didn’t want to feel like crap just to live in line with a societal norm. I wanted to text him first. I wanted to ask him out. And I did both of these things. Even though he rejected my invitation to hang out the first time, since I’d already been working on clearing my fear of rejection, it didn’t hurt too much. It was very empowering to understand what it must feel like for men dating in our society.
4) To Embrace My Inner Goddess
On the flip side of the coin, a lot of work needed to be done on my femininity. I had been denying my own femininity for a long time. When I became a teenager, I liked to look good and dress up. However I often felt shamed for it by others, receiving questions like, “Why are you dressed up so nice?”, comments that I looked slutty, and unwanted attention from men. The fact that my overprotective parents didn’t help matters. I felt ashamed for having a female body in their efforts to protect it.
Since we live in a patriarchy, societal norms were harmful, too. My femininity was never something to be cultivated, especially in schools and the masculine-centered workplace. I soon began to associate femininity with hatred. I lost my sense of style and began to conform to a look that fit in because I didn’t want to stand out. I wanted to hide. But that didn’t make me feel good either. Meeting my twin flame led me to this realization. The craziest thing that happened is an actual physical change in the appearance of my body. I had been pretty stick-shaped my entire life, and upon discovering the denial of this femininity, within a day or two, I developed more of an hourglass figure.
5) To Embrace My Sexuality
When we first met, my twin flame and I didn’t do much more than talk and then make out. However, just a few days after that, we were already sexting some pretty kinky stuff, stuff that I never knew existed in myself.
This has been one of the most fun lessons I’ve learned from my twin flame so far: that I like to be sexually submissive. He has a really masculine energy and has done a bit of sexual exploration into dominance and BDSM on his own. But he opened up a whole new world to me. He got me to admit to sexual fantasies I didn’t know I had. Our interactions have allowed me to think about sex in a whole new way. It’s something that should be a lot of fun, something to be explored, an adventure. I’d never considered myself to be a prude, and always enjoyed sex, but saw it more as a way to connect to and feel intimate with my partner than purely for fun. I think my twin has shown me more how men view sex, more as something that feels good and is fun.
6) That I had Abandoned Myself
It was in Savasana during a yoga class that this lesson came to me, in the form of my inner child. I was thinking about my abandonment issues due to my twin flame’s seeming disinterest in me. My fear of being left alone that started in childhood. As I meditated on this topic, I actually got into contact with my inner child. She was scared and crying. She told me that I had abandoned myself, which is why I was repeating this patterned fear of abandonment in my relationships. I told her that I would never leave her again. It was extremely emotional. I cried and repeated that message to her. I held myself and told myself I’d never abandon myself again.
Over the years I’d learned to become a people-pleaser, abandoning my own needs and desires for those of others, which is why my inner child felt abandoned. Once I released this old fear, I no longer felt that my twin would abandon me, because I would no longer allow the relationship to rule me, or cause me to abandon myself.
7) To Focus and Cling Less to Romantic Relationships
A big pattern in my past relationships has been co-dependence. My mood was dependent on the state of my relationship. If my boyfriend was upset with me, I felt I couldn’t stand it. My focus became relationships as the most important part of my life because I didn’t have anywhere else to put my focus that truly mattered to me. And I’d learned this behavior from a young age. My dad was very emotionally volatile, and in order to survive, I had to learn to please him and stay on his good side. When in relationships with men, I was triggered and transported back to that childhood abuse. I felt unsafe. I felt I would get hurt. And by putting that vibration out into the universe, I made it happen for myself.
None of my relationships have worked out so far, I realized, so why play by the same rules?
8) To Love and Respect Men
Men have a really bad rap in our society. It makes total sense why, as we still live in a patriarchy. In order to bring men “down to our level”, many women feel the need to diss them. I’ve partaken in my share of that too. “Men are stupid, men are dogs, men are trash, men are assholes.”
There are some assholes out there, but we can’t generalize an entire population. They are hurting too. They are suffering just as much as women in this patriarchy. Going back to my inner child, I realized that I was raised to fear men. In particular, my dad was never happy when we had boyfriends, and acted very intimidatingly towards them. It made me think men were bad and not to be trusted. Also, from a young age, children learn that men can kidnap and hurt you and to never trust them.
Men are really hurting from this stereotype. They are not receiving the love they truly desire, but are not raised to understand this about themselves. It may be what causes them to act out. I’d say the majority of men truly love and appreciate women. It’s important for us women to heal these notions in ourselves before we start dating. I’ve noticed a huge shift in how men approach me once I made the shift in myself: with respect, admiration, and joy to be in my presence rather than shame or fear, which is the vibe I used to give off.
9) To Let Go of Old “Flames” and Remember what They Taught Me Too
Three months out of my last relationship, I had healed a lot, but there were still some things I needed to let go of. In fact, I soon learned that I was still holding onto even earlier relationships and traumas. I was especially holding onto the notion that I needed to keep them “in my back pocket” for the future; to have them still like/love/desire me. This was causing me pain that I wasn’t aware of. I’d never done this before, but I intentionally thought about letting go of my ex. It was painful and I cried as I thought about all the good times we shared. But it was so good for me, energetically speaking!
10) To Trust that All is Well in the Universe
The day after meeting my twin flame, during meditation, I reached a state of enlightenment. I had an overwhelming feeling that we are all connected, that we are all one, that we are all the same. That everything is happening and flowing in a much less random way than we could ever imagine. That it’s all about vibrations and energy.
I’d actually lost my mom to cancer four years prior, and was able to connect with her energy in that state of 5D. Meeting my twin got me to a point of enlightenment that I hadn’t realized I’d been striving for, but I now understand that every human behavior and interaction is indeed an attempt to get closer to it. Now that I’ve felt it, I am able to focus much more on the work I’m meant to do, on clearing my own energetic blocks, and living a life more in line with my purpose on earth, which is to spread the message to others while also having a lot of fun!
11) To Focus on the Work I was Put on Earth to Do
I was told by a twin flame coach that where we meet our twin often speaks to an area where we need to work on ourselves. My twin flame was living where I was working at the time. He was a college student, and I was working on that college campus. I did not like my job, and I knew I was destined for greater things. I did not enjoy sitting at a desk all day. It caused my mind to wander to bad and insecure places because I was not being intellectually (or spiritually) stimulated to the level that I need.
The fact that my twin lived where I worked drove me NUTS. Every time I left the building, I would start searching for him. I hoped to accidentally run into him. I hoped he would see me. It made sitting at work almost unbearable. And this was what put me over the edge to quit in order to pursue my higher calling. From what I’ve read, this is a big part about meeting a twin; to reach a place of knowing in both relationships AND career, for the betterment of the planet.
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