If You Love Your Well-Being, You Should Love Yourself…

If You Love Your Well-Being, You Should Love Yourself

Love makes the world go round! The heart chakra is the energy center associated with our ability to give and receive love and is key in determining who we really are. The heart organ is actually the first organ created in human development, even before the brain! The heart can be seen as the bridge between the body (which the bottom 3 chakras look after) and the spirit (which the top 3 chakras look after). We must first love ourselves before we can love others in any sustainable way but if we are constantly giving our love away to others we often don’t have enough left for ourselves. This is why balance in the heart chakra is essential. The heart chakra is the air element energy center and develops during the fourth decade of life, the 30s – when it is common for people to partner up, settle down and start their own families.

Most people are aware that we have 7 main energy centers in the body. These energy centers operate on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Different systems call the energy centers different names, but almost all traditional systems of medicine recognize these energy centers as well as other minor energy centers, and energy pathways. In my practice, I refer to the energy centers as the Chakras – which comes from the Indian tradition. Many energy healers work with the Chakras.

Chakras are areas where the body is very open to receiving energy, from all sources. When it becomes imbalanced the flow of energy into the chakra is depleted or even prevented. Each chakra governs and works with specific areas of physical, mental and emotional well-being. So, how do you determine if you may have an imbalance in your heart chakra – if you are giving away all your love, or you just don’t have much to give in the first place? The color of the heart chakra is green. The energy center is located in the middle of your chest. Like most things in life energetic balance occurs on a spectrum. To determine if you may have an imbalance I will share below a number of examples of the extremes at either end of the spectrum – of course, we always aim to be as close to the middle, as much of the time, as we can.

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Passion and Compassion

If you feel very strongly about most things – in terms of your passion for issues, and also your ability to feel and experience the emotions of others (and care about what they are feeling) – your heart energy may be overactive. When we care more about what others are feeling than ourselves, this can eventually lead to resentment. At the other end of the spectrum, an underactive heart chakra may manifest as a lack of passion and also compassion, not really knowing, caring or understanding what others are feeling most of the time, and often being viewed by others as ‘cold’. Underactivity can also be indicated when someone tends to have a ‘poor me’ approach, assuming that they are the only one suffering and that their pain is more important than what anyone else may be feeling.

In addition, these people will tend to be very unforgiving of both themselves and others.

Heart vs. Head

This is an easy way to determine if someone has a heart chakra imbalance. If their heart always overrules their head, to the point where they may seem irrational or illogical, the heart chakra is overactive. On the other hand, if a person never goes with their heart in decision making, usually because they are scared of being overwhelmed by feelings, their heart chakra is underactive.

Arms Wide Open

If you always want to include everyone in everything, you are excessively generous and are what may be described as very ‘touchy-feely’ you may have an overactive heart chakra. This open heart policy can leave you vulnerable to hurt, being used and taken advantage of, as you so willingly give everything away, including your love. If on the other hand, you tend to shut people out, usually because you have been hurt in the past (which you tend to dwell on), leading to distrust of others and inability to feel and experience love, your heart chakra may be underactive. Underactive types generally do not like to be touched and may be seen as ‘tight’.

Love and Serve

People with an overactive heart chakra tend to be solely focused on serving and pleasing others, making sure that the needs of others are always met, before or instead of their own. Again, they may eventually become bitter or resentful that no one nurtures them as they do others, especially because they find it hard to ask for help, even though they are always helping others. If this sounds like many mothers that you’ve known, you’re right! It’s very easy for moms to have a heart chakra imbalance!

People at the other end of the scale tend to want others to do all the looking after, loving, serving and pleasing of them and don’t tend to help anyone else.

Heartfelt Well-Being

The areas of the physical body where heart chakra imbalance manifest are: (unsurprisingly) heart conditions, generalized anxiety, respiratory conditions, lung conditions, sleep apnea, poor circulation, hot or cold hands, blood pressure issues, abnormal heart rate, asthma, breast problems, and conditions affecting the arms and hands.

What to do to get totally devoted to balance in your fourth Chakra?

Use the Evenstar 5 Star Well-being approach!


  • Make sure your own needs for nourishment are given equal importance to that of your loved ones.
  • Share preparing food with others. Prepare at least one special meal for yourself to demonstrate self-love each week. Let someone else prepare a meal for you.
  • Express gratitude for food before you eat it.
  • Balance plant and animal foods.
  • Eat five servings of vegetables a day, especially green-colored ones.


  • Do moderate cardiovascular exercise to increase flow of blood and lymph.
  • Ensure that you are moving your arms at least a few times a week, as a part of your exercise regime, so don’t just walk or run.
  • Alternate nostril breathing or other balancing breath techniques.


  • Prioritize sleep because it is a great way to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and regulate heart rate, reducing anxiety.


  • Get lots of fresh air, be outside, especially near beautiful green trees and other plants


  • Emerald – unconditional love, partnership, openness, emotional calm, lungs & heart
  • Rose quartz – unconditional love, heart, self-love, empathy, sensitivity, mid-life crisis, openness, self-forgiveness
  • Green aventurine – heart, emotional calm, blood pressure, heart conditions, lungs, compassion & empathy

Essential oils

For overactivity:

  • Melissa – will help to promote gratitude instead of bitterness
  • Lavender – will replace a feeling of neglect with one of being cherished
  • Easy Air blend from DoTerra

For underactivity:

  • Rose – will help you feel loved instead of lonely
  • Cinnamon – will help you to once again feel connected instead of remote
  • Geranium – will replace a sense of disconnection with being in touch again
  • Jasmine – will bring about trust when you are afraid
  • Lemongrass – will make you once again feel emotionally expansive instead of constrained
  • Tea tree – will help you to move from intolerance to empathy
  • Easy Air and Cheer blends from DoTerra


  • Meditation – Breath-focused meditations are perfect for the heart chakra. A good place to start is with forgiveness and love for yourself, which are both essential to balance the heart
  • Affirmations – I am free to express and receive love unconditionally. I am open and free to accept love in my life. My heart cannot be damaged; it will heal me.
  • Keep a gratitude journal or include a gratitude practice as a component of your meditation.
  • Energy healing


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Arwen Bardsley


Arwen Bardsley is a holistic health professional who delves into the broader and deeper levels of health and wellbeing. She…

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