Lazy Love: The Astrological Compatibility Myth

I have something super-shocking to tell you.

Astrological compatibility (meaning Sun Sign compatibility) is a myth.

“But Hilary, you’re a PROFESSIONAL ASTROLOGER! You have to believe in COMPATIBILITY!”

Actually, no, I don’t, and you shouldn’t either. Here’s why: as humans, we are pure energy – energies control our interactions, from the neurons firing in our brains to what’s commonly called an aura surrounding our physical forms. Our bodies, our souls, and our minds form incredibly complex ecosystems, with extreme cross-impact between our psychological, spiritual, and physical selves. That’s a fancy way of saying that vibrational energy impacts everything we do – nothing happens in a vacuum.

Sounds great, Hilary, but how does that impact astrological compatibility? 

If we accept that humans are pure energy, and energy impacts everything we do, then logically, it follows that the pervasive energies of the stars, planets, and other cosmic bodies surrounding us impact everything we do and the choices we make – equally. To reject someone based on “astrological compatibility” (which typically refers to Sun Sign compatibility) is lazy, biased thinking.

Putting the same thing another way: saying “I’m not compatible with Joesy Jones” based on one or two astrological aspects is just like saying “I’m not compatible with Joesy Jones because they have brown hair and I just can’t accept that.”

Ouch. That sounds super harsh and prejudiced, doesn’t it? Yup – because it is!

So how do we fix this? Synastry (which is the formal name for relationship astrology) encourages us to look at each person in the relationship as a whole person, not just their Sun Sign or any other single aspect. By comparing each aspect of an astrological chart, we can create holistic, healthy relationships – encouraging our partners to share in ways that make sense to both them and us, based on our different astrological profiles.

This sounds complicated – but it isn’t. I would suggest starting with one area in your relationship that feels challenging – maybe it’s communication, maybe it’s eating habits, maybe you like to go out and they prefer to stay in – and compare the astrological aspects that impact that part of the relationship.

To bring it back to specifics, using an example: if communication is your main issue, hop onto any reputable astrology website and check out the Mercury, Mars, and Venus placements for yourself and your partner. Challenging positioning (like a “square” – meaning when an object in your chart is 90 degrees away from the placement of the same object in another person’s chart) can create problems if not handled carefully (think about “squaring up” to another person in an argument.) However, when handled correctly, these challenging aspects can actually create deeper, more meaningful communication.

The next time you’re tempted to say “oh, we’re just not compatible! They’re a Taurus and I’m a Pisces!” check yourself! You just might have found the love of your life…and they’re a lot more compatible than you think.