Judging And Criticizing My Internal Enemy…

Judging And Criticizing My Internal Enemy

The only enemy is me

I occasionally speak about bliss, and how to achieve heaven while on earth. Heaven is a state of being; it has nothing to do with what we have. When I was in conflict with others, it was because I was still in conflict with myself.

The spiritual war or the battle of good and evil is only happening within each individual, not out there. Once we master the ability to cease criticizing and judging our own self, then we will stop attracting chaos with others. My need to have power over others or some sort of authority had to stop. Instead, I learned to see others as my equal.

I realized the moment I judged or criticized another person’s personality, they became my external enemy. Deep down inside I felt more good, better and higher than that person. This caused my vibes to change when I was around that person. The other person felt my pride or vanity and then respond.

Once I accepted that I was not perfect and accepted the other person as they are, then there were no issues. All along the enemy was my own self-judgment.

Working on my solar plexus showed me how critical I was towards others; it also revealed that I was criticizing my personality which was the only reason why I was critical towards others. Also, I began to see how I loved on a conditional basis. I had shame which blocks the solar plexus, I had a strong need to feel good about my image.

Working on my heart chakra revealed to me how judgmental I was towards others, it also showed me how I was judging myself which is why I was judging others. Grief which blocks the heart chakra kept me not loving others unconditionally. Can I just be me without all the drama?

Observing without judgment was a habit that I just could not seem to do. As soon as someone walks into a room full of eyes, the mind starts looking and analyzing their appearance, clothes, shoes, hair, and face etc. The brain starts to find a way to put what it sees into a category, this is ego that separates things.

I looked into myself to validate what I felt was right, what’s cool, what is good, what is moral, what is acceptable, and what is unacceptable. Then I tried to keep up my false self-image based on what I thought I should be like. I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable around others, so I dressed and acted a certain way. I was simply judging myself, and criticizing me when I did something I thought was unacceptable by society.

I did this unconsciously, every time I looked at or interact with another person; I then compared my own self to them. My overactive solar plexus kept me competitive! Just accept others as they are, I have done bad things too, we all matter and we are all unique and important.

This is the reason why I didn’t get along with others; I looked at them with criticism. Just because they don’t walk like me, look like me, think and believe like me, dress like me, do things like me, don’t like what I like, don’t speak like me or don’t agree with me, I got mad or pushed them to the side as if they were nothing.

Being overly critical of myself kept me living as if life was a big competition, If I don’t have this or that I need to do what it takes to get it no matter how I treated others.

The solar plexus and heart chakra helped me to become calm and compassionate. Healing these two chakras allowed me to fully accept, love and like whom I am. My mental issues, personality disorders, I had to trust how I was created to be, even if others did not like me. I trust my thoughts and actions; when I am wrong or made a mistake I am completely comfortable with that. I Had to take responsibility and accountability which used to be so difficult.

My narcissistic and sociopath traits made it a challenge for me to care at times, so I make it an effort to hear others out because they have feelings too, it was a hard pill to swallow that everyone is right too. I had to learn to be responsible and take accountability.

There is no need to be hard on myself because I am having a human experience to learn and grow on many levels. The more I learned about me the less critical I became of me. When I did not pay attention to what was going on within, I missed my lessons that came from my external challenges. This created suffering and more pain in my life, then regret sent me right back to hell.

I finally realized that I did not come here to be perfect without making many mistakes. Putting my ego aside allowed me to see the truth; I was the cause of my negative experiences.

The creator never expected us to be a perfect person, the idea of being right all of the time was a curse and a burden that I put on myself. The creator simply wants us to be authentic by loving who we are unconditional.

Working on my heart chakra allowed me to experience empathy, therefore I can easily allow others to be who they are without putting myself as higher. Nobody on earth is higher than another, that’s an illusion from ego. If someone is not healthy for you, simply stop being around them without feeling guilty about it. It is very important for us to love ourselves unconditionally; this is how we love others unconditionally even if we don’t like them.

When I used to judge people, I always played myself for a fool, I was totally wrong about that person. I only heard one side of the story anyway which was not enough.

I found out that I was looking at what I believed good, evil, right and wrong were according to my personal feelings. Then I would look at another person negatively that was doing something I felt that I would or wouldn’t do. This created a negative perception of that person, so no matter what they did I had to see them as bad.

I didn’t realize that people just do things for their own personal reasons; in their mind they are right.

I really have no idea why he/she is doing that, and it’s none of my business. Who knows what he/she has experienced in their past that is making that person act that way. Our past experiences make us who we are now, and most are not conscious of their inner anger, so they sometimes do things based on some hidden deep seeded self-judgment.

Being mad at ourselves or regrets can be harmful to ourselves and others.

When I finally stopped judging people, I still felt what they did was evil which eventually labeled them as a bad person, so this was me criticizing them. I would complain by saying I can’t stand this person, they do this and do things like that, they can’t get it right!

I couldn’t see this but cleaning out my shame from my solar plexus brought this to my attention. Once I stopped criticizing others, then behind their actions I could see a unique person; this allowed me to see that everyone is capable of good, everyone is special and valuable, even if they didn’t believe it.

When I lived in shame it decreased my self-esteem. I felt bad about myself so I criticized others to feel like a better or good person. Usually, we are not aware of this process because this is a subconscious behavior. There are many things we do that we are not fully aware of because we don’t consciously know where our thoughts are coming from.

Anger and trauma from the past were still dictating my thoughts and then my actions. To experience God and full protection, we must end self-criticism and self-judgment.

I understand that we want to feel important or safe in this world, but we must accept that we are forgiven. God, our spirit guides, and our guardian angels don’t engage in judgment, they including God supports us when we ask, no matter what we have done. The creator never turns his/her back on us, we only look down on ourselves, the ego does this not higher self.

Remember we are spiritual beings having a human experience, as spirit we are pure. God understands that our humanity is our insanity until we become self-realized. It’s understood that we will make many mistakes to learn. That’s why I don’t say I wished or I should have been smarter etc.

Being overly critical of myself was driving me crazy. What have I done so wrong that caused shame, I needed to appear perfect in front of others.

Analyze how you feel after you had the pleasure of talking about someone you feel was doing something you felt was wrong, bad or crazy. As if it’s all about you, your ego’s image. I also remembered that when I judged or criticized someone, I treated him/her differently; I was being fake.

I wasn’t always treating everyone equally. Unconditional love for myself and others changed me dramatically.

God revealed to me my sin that fueled my fears insecurities. I am now aware of my true self, so I respect everyone because I am not above anyone, my ego tries to make me feel that way but I put it aside to stay righteous. I love others, but I don’t like everybody. I also had to stop trying to love everybody and leave some people be.

One reason why we don’t get along with others and ourselves are because some are afraid to be vulnerable. If we judge or criticize ourselves for past actions, and for being different, we then harden our shells to prevent suffering from happening again.

All this does is block love and possibly new healthy relationships with others. I was being too strong and overprotective, this attitude had me push others away, or cause fights because I somehow felt threatened.

This is the problem I have been dealing with for years; this habit also caused a period of loneliness in my life. I stopped criticizing myself; this allowed me to feel good and safe to be myself again. No matter who is around me I no longer fear that people will try to hurt me. That was my own paranoia because I hurt others in the past. When we stop criticizing us, then we began to observe others without judgment.

Even though he looks or act a certain way, he is just another person with feelings just like me.

To be vulnerable means to show all of you to others completely without holding back from the fear of rejection or judgment, being able to share feelings and emotions without feeling embarrassed. It means to say “here I am my strengths, my insecurities, and my weaknesses. This is all of me so take it or leave it! I have my own power and high self-esteem.

We must be comfortable with our insecurities, realizing that no one can really hurt us again. I personally just nip it in the bud when someone tries to take advantage. I don’t feel bad about it because I accept and love who I am, we deserve to care for our feelings, especially when others do not.

If a girl thinks she is the hottest person, and she runs into another girl with the same attitude, she may dislike her and try to fight with her. Look at her she is this or that etc. This mindless competition is all ego, not the real self. I asked myself, what am I so afraid of? Narcissism created many internal conflicts.

When I didn’t like someone it was because I had the same negative traits that they had. My selfish ego, this image that I tried to glorify to feel special or better than others was a veil. Sure some people do it more than others, and sometimes it’s just a reaction based on what we see when we compare ourselves to another.

This is all according to our standards, but everyone has the right to have their own standards too. We all see how selfish this sounds because it is the ego’s selfish view. The ego is insecure so it needs to look down on others to feel high and mighty or do things to get others acceptance, acknowledgment, and approval to feel good.

The question was what has this habit done for me? Do you know how much peace one can have if they just live and let others be? Have you thought to yourself maybe they like themselves as they are, and they have the right to be miserable or unhappy if they choose? So grant them that respect, especially if they didn’t ask for your opinion.

How I feel about something doesn’t make it right for everybody on earth. One must work on their heart chakra to reach this level of love that enables one to accept things for the way it is, and then from that, we can accept people for who they are with love and kindness.

This doesn’t mean that you have to like everybody chasing them with kindness and hugs. It just means to love and accept what is without judgment. Accepting the fact that it takes a lot of energy and too much stress trying to change people, especially if they don’t want to change. Obviously, they accept themselves as they are just like you accept yourself.

Who am I to judge that someone else is broken, bad or messed up? Just thinking that way is negativity from my heart. I used to look down on others as if I was the definition of purity. I am the one who judges me for my mistakes and flaws, if I correct my heart I get to experience heaven on earth.

We can judge ourselves then change accordingly because we know what we have been through, now we can validate ourselves because we have become better.

We are not in that person’s shoes, we have no clue what makes people do what they do base on their life experiences. That person doing the wrong may feel it is right in their own mind. We all handle stress differently. This allowed me to at least care about others suffering instead of having a low tolerance and rejecting them.

We all have our own perception of ourselves and how we see the world outwardly, and it changes based on how much we learn to love and accept who we are now. The solar plexus allowed me to accept myself as I am, the heart chakra allowed me to love myself unconditional.

Everyone is dealing with their own life challenges just as I was at one time in my life. Someone outside of me was probably looking down on me too when I was going through my life challenge. When we don’t forgive, we end up doing the same things to others when we become successful.

The prostitute on the corner is going through her challenges, it doesn’t give me the right to look down on her, and eventually, she will find a way out of her challenge. But too many of us are too obsessed with being self-righteous; I did this to feel better than others.

It was because I still felt guilty for my own sins, so I needed to point the finger at someone else that is in sin to feel worthy of God’s love. There is no need to be in competition with everyone to feel special, to prove that we are above others.

I’m not saying be friends and invite them to your house, just don’t treat others based on how bad you think they are. Respect and treat others kindly, that’s planting good seeds. The law of sowing and reaping are at work here. If someone is mean or rude leave those miserable types alone, speak your feelings if you must.

How we view the world is what we make in our reality, so if you have negativity in your heart, that is what you are going to only see and receive from others. This cycle of judgment can keep us miserable inside. Another reason why I judged myself was because I lacked personal power.

I criticized others because I was insecure, I didn’t feel important or perfect. I subconsciously seek to point out flaws in others to feel good inside, because it helped me get through my deep inner misery of feeling flawed inside. Because I was not accepting that I wasn’t perfect, I thought my life was supposed to be perfect, and I too make mistakes. My narcissistic mentality got in the way of what was true.

Everybody is perfect as in perfectly being them. Not perfect as in not making mistakes or having flaws. If one truly accepts themselves for who they are, then they have reached their perfect self. Being comfortable with ourselves regardless of our past, what we have and where we are in our life is peace of mind.

At the same time realize and accept that we can be wrong and make mistakes; it is part of being human. Self-loathing, false pride, judgment, and criticism will be relinquished. We all make mistakes, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with us at all.

Everyone is a child of God. If I have disgust in anybody then I have disgust for God. If I feel uncomfortable with what I see then I just move to another spot and mind my business, I don’t want to be a part of it. If I don’t agree I still don’t think of them in any kind of way, instead I just pray for them

No matter what I do people will still judge me for being myself, so what’s the point of judging myself? Just remember that your self-worth has nothing to do with how much money or what you have, you can be living in a box and still feel good about yourself.

I’m not saying don’t desire better things in life; just don’t confuse your value or self-worth with mundane things. We are all precious even if the person next to you doesn’t see life this way.

Don’t try to change yourself either, that is the ultimate misery, adjust or improve yourself instead. As soon as we accept ourselves then we will see how perfect we already are, instead of trying to change to be perfect in others eyes.

This creates the cycle of criticizing ourselves all over again, what is wrong with me, nothing! The easiest thing to do is study children, they are already in a state of enlightenment, and they have so much love and light, and they observe without judgment!

Enjoy more at my website https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp/home/


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Mumin Godwin

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My name is Mumin Godwin. I am 37 years old who loves to write about light and love. In a…

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