Is Suspicion A Negative Or Positive Tool In Human Relations?
While trust is a positive tool, suspicion is certainly a negative tool in human relations!
For instance, if we see our spouse smile and chat with someone, and the same thing repeats a few times, it gives rise to suspicion, ‘Is my spouse cheating on me?’ Consequently, it adversely affects our relationship with our spouse.
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, the Enlighten being, has always advised:
“When someone tells us that suspicion has arisen within him, I teach him to remove it instantly from its roots and throw it out. It is not worth having any suspicions. Suspicion destroys a person. May whatever happen; under no circumstances should you have suspicion, because nothing is going to change by being suspicious. On the contrary, it gets worse. Doubts and other such diseases then arise. Why should one be consumed by suspicion in a world where even what is witnessed with one’s own eyes is proven wrong?
Whatever happens or has happened is within the dictates of Nature’s law. Nothing is going to happen outside of your karmic account. Nothing is going to change, but that suspicion will kill you. Therefore, the moment suspicion arises, instantly remember that Dada has said no to it and that you have to stop it.”
Suspicion is a negative emotion stemming from fear, which in turn is the fallout of desire, doubt and insecurity.
In the above stated example,
there’s the fear of being cheated by our partner,
there’s the desire to possess our partner, whom we consider to be ours,
there’s a doubt or lack of trust in not only our partner, but in our own self and in the Nature’s precise order too, and
Consequently, there’s the insecurity of losing our partner to someone else.
The mightiest ghost in this world is that of suspicion. The best of people and the best of relations have been destroyed by it.
What does suspicion mean? It is like putting a pound of salt in the delicious milk pudding prepared for a large gathering. What happens if we do that? The milk will turn rancid. People do not realize the liability of doing this. It ruins our relations and poisons our life.
Lord Krishna has said, “Sanshay-Aatma Vinashyati” meaning ‘when one begins to have suspicion; one self-destructs.’
Any man who has suspicions about anything or anyone in the worldly life, whether it is one’s spouse, father, mother, brother or uncle; that man and his relationship with this other person are as good as dead. It will cause him pain that is comparable to death. Suspicion leads to emotional instability, bitterness in interactions, prolonged depression, restlessness and extreme anxiety. And once there is suspicion about a person, there is separation from that person. It leads to breaking of relationships as the echoes of suspicion inevitably reach the other person.
And the law of nature is such that those with suspicion get into trouble while those who do not listen to suspicion have no difficulties at all. Therefore, there should be no suspicion in life in the first place. And if it has arisen, then as soon as suspicion occurs, it should be removed with awareness. Param Pujya Dadashri suggests that whenever suspicion arises, stop within a minute; we can be suspicious for only a minute. After that, we should decide, ‘such is my destiny’ and turn around.
Hence, do not let suspicion grow. Otherwise it will not let us or our loved one live peacefully.
Basically, suspicion arises from attachment. And deep down, from this attachment, we are actually craving for security and permanency.
So if we discover our rightful place, our home of bliss – the Self, that is fully secured and permanent; and yearn for it, suspicion gets uprooted automatically.
Whilst suspicions dwell in the worldly self, our rightful place is the pure Soul which is our permanent Self. Once we attain Self-Realization from the living Gnani (the Enlightened One), we are able to stay in our real Self!
Today,we are very fortunate to have amidst us such living Gnani, who through Akram Vignan, the stepless path to Self-Realization, graces us with Self-Realization in just two hours time. Ánd there’s no cost to it either. So come, without having any suspicion in our mind, let’s go to Him and attain Self-Realization so that we can live with everyone in this world happily and harmoniously.
The nature of the Self (Soul) is love. And with such a love, one forgets all one’s problems.
Once bound through this love, nothing else can bind us. After Self-Realization, this love begins to rise.
Also, we may ask for forgiveness for all the mistakes that have occurred so far, upon fully accepting that ‘It’s me and only me at fault for seeing fault in others.’ And whenever suspicion arises, we shall immediately repent before God, “Dear God, suspicion is arising in me. Please forgive me for that and give me strength so that I do not make these mistakes again.”
We should take this approach in our human relations, especially with those for whom we wish to become the embodiment of love. Only then will we feel love, the real love free from fear, full of bliss!
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