Is Being Emotionally Attached To Someone More Dangerous Than Being Addicted To Cigarette And Alcohol Consumption?
Both of these are dangerous in their own way and have a negative impact on our health, relationships and on the mind.
With emotional attachment, one loses sight of rational thinking and becomes overly attached to someone, resulting in a negative impact on that relationship.
Addiction has serious effects on a person’s social, mental and economic state. Any type of addiction makes us become a slave to the very addiction that we think will give us happiness. And that addiction eventually becomes the cause of our dependency and suffering.
How does emotional attachment lead to suffering?
When we are attached to someone, we have expectations from that person.
If that person is able to meet these expectations — we are happy. But if for some reason the person is unable to do so, we get angry, frustrated and annoyed.
The intensity of our emotions is related to the level of attachment we have with that person. Higher the attachment, the greater the impact of that reaction.
Repeated failure from the person who is not able to meet our expectations would lead to frustration, irritation and we may even feel let down.
Eventually over time, the emotional attachment will lead to abhorrence.
When we are emotionally attached, there is a lack of clarity in our thinking. We over analyse interactions or situations and try to make more of it than it is. This is how emotional attachment leads to an array of negative emotions towards us and the person concerned.
So now, what is the solution?
Remove emotional attachment and replace it with love:
As a first step, decide that you want to have true love, and no emotional attachment in your relationship. When the attachment is removed, as a direct consequence all the tension will be eliminated. True love is unconditional, without expectation and selfless.
When you have an attachment, you are expecting something, material or emotional, in return from your partnership. But when you really start loving your partner, you only give, and that too without condition. Through love, you take each circumstance for what it is rather than over scrutinising everything.
In short, love your partner but without being clinging and oppressive.
Enjoy the beauty of the relationship by staying in the moment, instead of being tensed, overthinking, and over-analysing your partner’s responses and their behaviour patterns etc This in fact ruins what could be a harmonious partnership.
The remedy for getting rid of addiction should start from that your habit should bother you from within.
Apply these 4 keys to become addiction free.
DETERMINE – Make a strong determination to come out of the habit of smoking. It should be apparent to your mind that we are against the habit of smoking.
ANALYSE – The next step is to analyse the reasons why it is wrong to smoke. Create a list of the ill effects of smoking in every way. This will highlight the dangerous effects of smoking which gives us a clear mind and understanding of ‘how smoking is actually harmful to us’. And hence it helps pacify the intellect and also counterbalance our mind’s thoughts that have been in favour of smoking.
PRATIKRAMAN – Asking for forgiveness (from whichever God you follow) is called Pratikraman. This is the proven weapon that cuts the veils of addiction. It implies that you are against the bad habit, thereby clearing your opinions in favour of smoking. Thus, pratikraman helps us get rid of our opinions that promote the habit of smoking.
NEVER PROTECT – When someone points out our mistake or complains about how bad our habit is, we should never protect it. Defensive answers like “What is wrong with it? I smoke just 1 cigarette?” or “I used to smoke 10 cigarettes a day. What is wrong with it? – promotes encouragement to our bad habits, and thus we never end up quitting our habit. Therefore, we should not protect our mistakes ever and should genuinely accept the habit, when someone points it out to us. In this way, we will gradually become free from our addiction.
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