I Lost Someone Very Close To Me How Can I Find Peace In Life?
Parting is always painful!
But love demands that we hold the person we love very gently such that we allow things to flow.
Our Love for the Person Who We Love Far Exceeds Our Need for That Person
Agree?! When we love someone very dearly, we are always bothered about that person and not about ourselves. We are not worried about our peace; our only wish is to see the person we love to be in peace; we want exactly that what gives the other person peace.
So, although it may seem very hard to imagine living life without this person who’s been very close to your heart, since you genuinely care for that person, pray to God that ‘may your loved one find peace.’ Ask God to bless your loved one wherever he or she may be!
Gnanis say, “When we send our deep heart-felt inner prayers and messages to someone, they will reach that person.” And when we worry and grieve for that person, our unhappiness too reaches the person exactly and for sure. It is akin to a telephone or a television in terms of its remote effects. This is the nature of vibrations created in this world.
These Are All Accounts of Give And Take
“People, who grieve after the dead, do so because of ignorance, therefore it is important for them to know the facts and live peacefully”, says Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, “Do you know what it means when we lose someone? It means that all accounts (karmic) between that person and you are now closed.”
Pujya Dadashri gives his own example, “I too had a son and a daughter, but they both died. They were guests in our home. They came and they left. They were not our property anyway. We too will have to go some day, will we not? So do not worry about those who died. Instead give peace and happiness to those who are still alive. Our duty is towards those who are living and dependent upon us. Those who are gone are gone. Stop even remembering them.”
Is There Anyway That The Person Will Come Back?
Death is inevitable for all. There is no way the person will come back. But by intense grieving, one will create karma that leads to too much wandering in future lives. Rather, we can distribute some sweets to poor children, or something on those lines, in that person’s memory.
The effect of our unhappiness reaches those who have departed from us, and they too become unhappy wherever they are. So, we must ensure that we do not hurt them anymore.
Pray for the One Whom You’ve Lost
If we still can’t find peace in life, Pujya Dadashri suggests, “Whenever you remember this person you’ve lost, say a prayer for the liberation of his Soul. Your only desire should be for the liberation of his Soul. You pray for the good of others; so why must you not do the same for those who are very close to you? You lived with that person, shared everything with him, and now your only desire should be his salvation.”
Therefore, remember the Pure Soul residing in that person and pray, ‘Dear Pure Soul, may bliss and peace be with you, wherever you may be. May you attain moksha without any impediments. May you attain exclusive protection of the Supreme Lord. Until this day and this moment, for any faults committed towards you, I ask you for your forgiveness. I am sincerely repentant for the mistakes happened by me. Please forgive me and grant me the strength never to repeat these faults ever again.’ This prayer may be repeated every time the dead person comes in our memory.
When we give too much of importance to one particular thought, life loses its rhythm and hovers just over that one thing only – this is not right as it makes us terribly miserable! Gnanis say, it is due to ignorance of the real Self that we take the thoughts that arise in our mind onto ourselves. But when we have the correct understanding of ‘Who am I?’ we can remain unaffected amidst any kind of thoughts that cross the mind.
It is the nature of the mind to show us all types of thoughts; but if with the grace of Gnani, the Enlightened One, you attain Self-Realization; it becomes easier to keep your mind separate and remain unaffected. With this, your wrong belief that, ‘I am indeed the one who is having this thought of finding peace in life’ will drop off as you will realize that, “I am a Pure Soul. I myself am an abode of eternal bliss.’ ‘I have to find peace in life’ becomes an irrelevant statement then.
After Self-Realization, Pure Love Arises For Every Person in Our Heart
Since the person you lost was very close to you, you must have surely received lot of love from that person. Express your gratitude for that love you received, by giving out love to everybody that comes in touch with you now. That’s called a state of oneness, which is our natural state of being.
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “We remain one with all. We are not even slightly separate from you or from this person or from anybody else.” We are not separate from these plants, birds, animals or people. Param Pujya Dadashri reiterates, “I do not feel the separation from anyone in this world. I consider not only those who have come here as mine but everyone else as mine too. They are all mine and I am theirs.”
You too can feel the same one day! For that, all that you need to do is get in touch with Gnani and attain his grace… 👍
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